Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Love In The Time Of College Applications

Blair and Serena joke about how weird the Dean is, and then stare wistfully at "Yale," in its secret Columbia shapeshifter form, because when this show doesn't feel like trying it is not even going to pretend to try, and the Dean of course calls and makes it clear that they're both right: Blair's still in the stack of applications and will remain there until she's driven herself fully crazy, and Serena's going to get early acceptance for being a Page Six girl, and he's already writing up the press release about her visit to the school. So now they both feel totally fucked, but at least they have each other. Blair tries to explain to Serena that she can neither give up nor share her good fortune with B this time, and needs to just suck it up, but Serena's not convinced she won't at some later date be able to wrinkle her nose or laugh coquettishly and get the entire cast through Admissions. Even Vanessa. And when they hug, Serena's just deliriously happy to be back with Blair, but Blair still looks like Elijah Wood about four hours into The Return Of The King, which is to say I think she has cholera.

"Dreams. Everybody has them. Some good, some bad..." -- Serena pulls that stupid hat down over Blair's head and kisses her -- "...Some you wish you could forget..." -- Lily puts away the sexy weird black dress -- "...Sometimes you realize you've outgrown them... " -- Little J reports for sweatshop duty and is awesome -- "...Sometimes you feel like they're finally coming true..." -- Chuck watches Dan and Nate giggling down the street together, for all intents and purposes holding hands and buying each other tulips and scarves and shit -- "... And some of us just have nightmares. But no matter what you dream, when morning comes, reality intrudes, and the dream begins to slip away." Blair stares back at Yale and confronts the idea that shit happens. It has honestly never occurred to her before, and it's sad to watch that die. "Dream a little dream of me!"

Next week: B remembers that V is the worst thing in the world, assumes her Merteuil persona, and sends Chuck on a new mission, promising delights to come: "Seduce & Destroy." Totally the new title of my autobiography, GG. Thanks for the tip. XOXO.

Gossip Girl is, like, so unrealistic! Let us count the ways with our Gossip Girl: Non-New York State of Mind gallery.

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Gossip Girl




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