COURTHOUSE

Blair: "Poor people. Everywhere."
Chuck: "You're right. Uncle Jack, go round up all the fashion designers and socialites we know. This secret wedding needs to be a much huger, more public deal."
Blair: "We deserve it!"

Uncle Jack: "Georgina Sparks? Get in this car. Apparently when Blair makes a list of her closest friends and family, you and I are at the top of that list."
Georgina: "Oh good! An orange stranger. Tell me sir, what are your thoughts on roofies? And televised sex murder?"
Uncle Jack: "It's possible I have found the cowgirl to break this wild stallion."

PRADA LOBBY

Lily: "It's been five minutes, so I'm comfortable saying that you've been a real solid dude today, William. Shall we remarry?"
Ivy: "Stop right there! My vengeance is complete! Lily, I have traveled backward through your many marriages, sexually assaulting and defrauding each of them in turn. Now do you like me?"
Lily: "Honey, I am drunk as shit and I can't be doing this right now. I have a funeral to reenact and a wedding to pretend to care about. William, make her go away."
Wm vdW: "Go away, little girl. Go away, Grunty."
Ivy: "But I have sexts!"
Lily: "I don't know about technology."
Ivy: "But he helped Lola, your daughter-niece and my clone-sister, steal my money for me!"
Wm vdW: "Lily's niece-daughter is in Budapest right now, so I guess we'll never know."

Lily stumbles out into the street because Ivy is so awful she can't take it.

Ivy: "I don't understand how this fits into the plan."
Wm vdW: "Uh, this is the plan. You were the fake cancer. You were the desperate psychotherapist, the fake-cancer prescription. You were the scarf carelessly left on the couch. I have been trying to break up Lily and Rufus since this shit started. But thanks for all that money I scammed out of you."

"You're a Lifetime movie called Nobody Gives A Damn: The Ivy Dickens Story. I don't know what you have to complain about, you got Lola's money. Now go back to Florida. Run along and be the Queen of the Swamp People."