Gossip Girl
New York, I Love You XOXO

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 37 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Something About Survival

COURTHOUSE

Blair: "Poor people. Everywhere."
Chuck: "You're right. Uncle Jack, go round up all the fashion designers and socialites we know. This secret wedding needs to be a much huger, more public deal."
Blair: "We deserve it!"

Uncle Jack: "Georgina Sparks? Get in this car. Apparently when Blair makes a list of her closest friends and family, you and I are at the top of that list."
Georgina: "Oh good! An orange stranger. Tell me sir, what are your thoughts on roofies? And televised sex murder?"
Uncle Jack: "It's possible I have found the cowgirl to break this wild stallion."

PRADA LOBBY

Lily: "It's been five minutes, so I'm comfortable saying that you've been a real solid dude today, William. Shall we remarry?"
Ivy: "Stop right there! My vengeance is complete! Lily, I have traveled backward through your many marriages, sexually assaulting and defrauding each of them in turn. Now do you like me?"
Lily: "Honey, I am drunk as shit and I can't be doing this right now. I have a funeral to reenact and a wedding to pretend to care about. William, make her go away."
Wm vdW: "Go away, little girl. Go away, Grunty."
Ivy: "But I have sexts!"
Lily: "I don't know about technology."
Ivy: "But he helped Lola, your daughter-niece and my clone-sister, steal my money for me!"
Wm vdW: "Lily's niece-daughter is in Budapest right now, so I guess we'll never know."

Lily stumbles out into the street because Ivy is so awful she can't take it.

Ivy: "I don't understand how this fits into the plan."
Wm vdW: "Uh, this is the plan. You were the fake cancer. You were the desperate psychotherapist, the fake-cancer prescription. You were the scarf carelessly left on the couch. I have been trying to break up Lily and Rufus since this shit started. But thanks for all that money I scammed out of you."

"You're a Lifetime movie called Nobody Gives A Damn: The Ivy Dickens Story. I don't know what you have to complain about, you got Lola's money. Now go back to Florida. Run along and be the Queen of the Swamp People."

Ivy loses her shit, as anybody would after that amazing fucking takedown, and that's basically all we ever hear about her. It is one of the episode's many small grace notes that Georgie and Jack get to see the tail end of her meltdown, as they arrive to grab Lily for this wedding that nobody even really cares about.

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Gossip Girl

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