Nate & Sage: "Is there anyone Gossip Girl ever went easy on? Someone she cared about? That could be a clue. The only selfless thing she ever did was shut down after Chuck and Blair's accident. Although she did lead Dan and Blair to Juliet, after Serena was drugged. That was the right thing to do. And wasn't there a lot of stuff that she knew but didn't post until Serena went to war with her at graduation? Maybe Gossip Girl was really our guardian angel..."
Gossip Girl: "Spotted: Chuck Bass back in Manhattan. We hear he's on his way to turn himself in. Who's up for a little stakeout at the big house?"
Nate: "Oh wait, that's ludicrous. She's always been a vengeful, resentful cunt. Maybe that's a clue."
The show actually goes up the steps and into the Met, which is a cool idea without a home, because the wedding isn't actually going to be at the Met, it's at the Bethesda Terrace, so all this scene is, is an excuse to have more conversations about how the wedding isn't at the Met, it's at the Bethesda Terrace. Outside, GG girls are amazed to see S, D, N and Georgina all heading into a museum of any kind, separately or together. Other GG girls are amazed that Chuck and Blair are getting married, because they haven't been paying attention. Still more GG girls are surprised that Nate is with a girl, that Serena is with Dan, and that this show stayed on the air this long.
Crystal-blue Elie Saab wedding dress with a long, long train; Chuck's wearing a matching tuxedo that is maybe slightly less crazy than you were expecting, but there are pointy white elf-boots happening.
Serena: "Your wedding is as compromised and plot-driven as your whole relationship, which is kind of touching. But back to me, where's Dan?"
Blair: "Getting flowers. Remember that time Dan was in charge of flowers and he ended up being a drug mule? That was cool. Also, Dan is a worthless loser. I'm not sure I've mentioned that before."
Serena: "I honestly can't recall. But yes, he's the worst. It's why I love him!"
Serena: "Need I mention the many rapes of Chuck that never happened? The time he didn't sell you for a hotel? The time he didn't abuse you?"
Blair: "Yes, he's the worst. It's why I love him! But Chuck is one of us, whereas Dan --despite his years of trying -- never will be. Not that we weren't all rooting for him to pull it together eventually."