Tyler says that CeCe told her Lily wants to stop hiding her past and come clean, and Chuck considers this drunkenly. His speech is labored and confused. "Tell me what's the point in me paying to know something if she's going to tell everyone anyway?" Tyler advises him to take the deal and lock down the possibility: "You're about to become the richest kid in New York. If I were you, I'd want to make that decision myself." He slides the secret across the bar, and Chuck hands him this bizarre bag of money. He stands up and puts one hand heavily on Tyler's shoulder, at first like he's holding himself up but then he whispers that Chuck whisper into Tyler's ear: It's a pleasure doing business with you.

(At which point The Chad -- who finds this show fascinating in this whole other way I respect but don't get -- cracked me up by accident. "Did you just say He's gay for everybody?" And The Chad looks at me like I'm a moron: "I said I think he's my favorite." And I'm like, "Um, that's why he's my favorite.")

Serena on the Rose-Waldorf chuppah: "Oh, it's beautiful." Aaron on his douche high: "And so are you." Not content to just be stupid, he pushes the asshole envelope as well: "You know what could make this moment even better?" If a flaming piece of a long-abandoned satellite came crashing through the roof and ground you into a fine paste? Serena admits she's decided to go to Buenos Aires, and there is gross kissing, and of course the Humphreys arrive. Jenny asks if Eleanor's freaking, and Eleanor's hysterical voice comes screeching down the stairs: "Is that Jenny Humphrey? Where are my clothes?" Jenny nods and heads upstairs, telling Dan to wait for her. He points at the garment bag, and Aaron's like, "That's so lame I have to flee this scene." Serena sweetly smiles and then looks at Dan for a second before wandering to another corner of the room to get away from him.

Dan says her name and she's like, God, what. "Dan, why are you really here?" Um, to tell you not to go to Argentina. Too late! "But uh oh just tell him you're not." Serena's like, "It's not our time, dude." Dan of course doesn't know about the gross machinations of Lily and Rufus, so he goes, "So what? It's you and Aaron's time? You guys have a time now?" Yeah, it's called Shut Up Dan O'Clock, and it rolls around every five seconds. "It's not about Aaron, it's about our parents. They're in love? They never stopped being in love?" Dan literally goes, "Ohhhh. That explains a lot." I'm sort of in love with Dan Humphrey myself these days.