Gossip Girl

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Sketches For My Sweetheart The Drunk

"I found that sermon surprisingly thought-provoking," Cyrus is saying. "All that stuff about life, and death, and our time on earth being so fleeting..." Eleanor feeds him. Again. Eleanor feeds him, smiling: "Darling, it's a funeral. What was he supposed to talk about, the stock market? What's the best pizza in town? Although that is quite good," she says, tasting the food with him. "No, I know. But I want to get married!" Eleanor grins indulgently and says she does too: "That's why we're engaged." Cyrus stamps his little foot: he means now. Blair whirls from the kugel to stare at him, as he says he wants to get married tomorrow. She joins her mother in a chorus of No. "Why not? Life is so short, it's all uncertain. I don't want to live another day without being your husband! What do you say?" More life, he says. Not enough, he says. Why wait, he says. And Blair hears every word.

"She says that's crazy," Blair hisses, and Eleanor agrees, but he's a lawyer, it's not in his blood to stop now. "Well, we'll do it at the apartment, just the family. Simple, elegant, fast." Eleanor begins to sway, to be swayed, and sees how this could be romantic, and Blair nearly claps her hands at them like last week: "Mother." Eleanor looks at her in surprise, a little of that warning, that steel, at her temples: "I thought you were supportive of this union?" Blair nods, hands open: "I am. As something that happens in a vague, far-off future that never really lands on me, because I'll be away at college. Not as what I'm doing tomorrow at seven o'clock..." Jenny enters as Cyrus's mouth opens wide: "Candlelight! That's perfect!" Blair rolls her eyes and Eleanor says she has nothing to wear for tomorrow; Jenny helpfully pipes up and offers to make something: "What'd you have in mind?"

Blair, looking like she's about to carve the words FUCKING HUMPHREYS across Jenny's cute little face, is like, "You. Minding your own business." Eleanor muses about how she'd imagined "something in a jacket, very YSL," and Jenny -- I think -- pulls a bad line reading in response: "Okay, Mick and Bianca 1971, great reference." (The way that she emphasizes "great" makes it sound like she's patronizing Eleanor for her tastes, but the sweet smile on her face -- and the fact that it remains unslapped -- makes the think the original line was written to infer gratitude, like, "Thanks for that great reference, I know exactly what you mean and can totally do that for you." Given Taylor Momsen's one of the best actors on the show, though, I can't say that for sure. I just can't figure out how the line, as written and acted, isn't infra-Vanessa, reaching up towards Lexi amounts of obnoxious. Although I will take this time to note that there is no Lexi this week, so I'm guessing maybe no Lexi ever again, which just proves that prayer works.)

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Gossip Girl

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