Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Sketches For My Sweetheart The Drunk

And then meanwhile, Serena should not be dealing with Aaron or Dan right now, because her brothers need her, and then as far as Dan's aware, his father is rapidly losing touch with reality, so like, this is an impossible scene to write because of all the narrative craft and structure that's required, and the way they got around that is by letting all that stuff be there and be implicit, and then just do this funny, cute scene that manages to make both of them look pretty much totally adorable. And if that involves Serena acting like a gawky teenage girl, and Dan like a lunkheaded teenage boy, well, that's Serena's storyline right now anyway, not to mention that they are in fact teenagers, who have every right to act this way.

Anyway, Serena's vacillating, like, "I can't say that out loud, but what I am drawing here is clearly a CAT so why do you keep saying TRUCK, trucks don't have whiskers you idiot," and he gets all Quit Fucking Around on her, which is not at all what she's doing: "Look, Serena. If you want to go, go. If you don't, then don't. I can't tell you who to be with." Serena, still in there fighting, for which I love her: "No, but you can tell me how you feel." Dan's like, "Fuck you, how do you feel? About your 'boyfriend" that's taking you to 'South America'?" Serena's sort of had enough, so she's like fine: "I mean, he's really great. I like him a lot?" Begging him to blow this off. Instead, because he's Dan Humphrey and kind of wonderful and bumbling and clueless, he goes: "WELL THAT'S YOUR ANSWER THEN!"

Her hands literally flop around in defeat, and then he gets twice as neurotic and adorable and goes, "You know what this muffin is apricot I think yeah it uh I wanted cranberry they gave me apricot I gotta go back" and then ... runs away. Literally just goes zooming the heck off down the sidewalk. And Serena just sort of stares into space for a second like, "How the hell did I fuck that up? I'm Serena van der Woodsen, I shouldn't have had to work it a tenth that hard and it still should have worked out. What the fuck is WITH everybody today?"

Dvorak, finally, as Blair comes downstairs and into a supermassive wedding prep explosion. It looks lovely. Cyrus asks what she thinks, and she offers a halfhearted mazel tov, and he takes a closer look at her: bereft, no shine in the eyes, nothing. "Blair, I know this is all happening awfully fast for you. I just hope you know how happy I am not just to be with your mother, but... To have you in my family. I love you." She nearly starts crying right then, as he takes her hands. "Very, very much."

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Gossip Girl

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