Serena explains about her stupid deal with Lily last year, and how even if she tried to pull that shit again her Mom probably wouldn't fall for it. "So you're gonna give up on all of this -- on us -- for your Mom?" Serena points out that their relationship is an epic fail on numerous fronts, and Dan's like, "Maybe it would work this time!" because he is his father's son, and Serena tries to explain how this entire season she keeps trying to be friends with him and he keeps fucking it up: "Dan, we're... We're connected. We always will be, but... I'm dating someone else now." Someone vile, but who understands human language.
Blair comes downstairs, just in the nick, and summons Serena. "We need your fashion advice," she says, because apparently the wedding party will be dressing like whores -- Mick and Bianca 1971, don't you know -- and not-too-hatefully asks "Humphrey" what he's doing there, and you already know the answer (this time provided by Serena) and B shrugs and drags Serena off. She's like, "We'll talk after the holidays, where I'll be boning Aaron senseless in a South American summer haze, okay?" Which is what Dan deserves, anyway, even if I wouldn't wish that greasy awful fate on anybody, least of all Serena, and she gives him a good strong hug and then does that Serena thing where she walks a few steps, forgets the conversation is over and turns around, remembers she just said goodbye and hugged the person, and then continues on her way. I love when she does that.
Chuck's reading the big damn secret when Lily comes downstairs and spots him, finally home. "I just can't believe you'd want this to become public knowledge," he says slowly, stretching it out, and Lily goes: "What. Is that." She already knows, so Chuck just folds it up and confirms her fears. "But my Mother..." Chuck explains that CeCe lied to Lily about buying Tyler off, and lied to Tyler about Lily's new leaf. "Judging by the look on your face, I'm guessing it wasn't your idea to come clean." Lily's completely thrown; Chuck doesn't care at all. Hatefully, still seated, taps the secret on the back of the couch. "Next time you see her, I'd ask, but until then I'm more than happy to further her agenda."
Out of options, Lily finally remembers to be human. "Charles, um, I beg you... Please don't turn away from the people that love you. They're the only chance any of us has, and your father never learned that. I hope that you do." He won't look at her, so she turns to go. But she really does love him.