And then in a quiet whisper: Giant gypsy moth eyebrows ... man-bangs ... bounce a quarter off literally any area ... delts like cantaloupes ... he's a cute muscled bicycle, you just get on and ride ... he's a two-fisted pile of issues, ready to get as weird and filthy as any Oxford fashion grad would want ... refractory period like a goldfish's memory ... Archibald ... Arrrrrchiballllllld...

At the party Epps is almost distracted by the embattled giftbags, but one flash of that face of his -- "Look alive," Blair barks -- and she's realigned and ready to go. Blair slaps his ass as he's walking Epperly to the bar, because she's awesome.

And over there, you got Ben actually saying, "So you go to things like this every week?" and Serena laughs about how that's just a conceit of the show, it's been going on for four years and yes you're very clever but do stop thinking about it so much: It's almost as annoying as bitching about how many characters get cast on True Blood, as though anybody's dumb enough to get confused, considering every show has that many guest roles and recurring characters and the only reason it's somehow news is because the internet is starving and knows that talking about every casting side like they're the new central character is a good way to get pageviews.

And then over here we've got Chuck, who has reserved his old suite so they can do it, just him and Raina whom he know would miss her meeting after that delectable phone call: "On the condition that you show me something first: Your hiding place. From when you were a little boy."

Lady, you don't wanna see that. Nate's barely seen it. Dan saw it, he doesn't even know what he saw and it still kind of screwed him up.

Damien comes flying in out of the shadows and busts up on Ben's face all, "Whoa man watch where you're going man" and Ben is weirded out, but Damien just stays right in his face, trying to get him to buck or throw a punch. But Ben just reminds him that he's under no circumstances to fuck Eric -- who is standing right there -- and disappears for some breathing exercises.

"That's not what we planned," Dan Dans. "You said he had a short fuse!" Eric's like, "Yeah, how come he didn't attack?" Well, he's gonna. Now Dan, you just go call the parole officer you met for three seconds this morning and we'll get this show on the road. As if it needs explaining, Dan huffs, "To be clear, I'm doing this for Serena, and blah blah blah never set foot in this town again." Whatever, man. So he leaves Eric there, and Damien pours the ice out of a drink into a napkin: "For your hand, in about three minutes. You're gonna punch me in the face as hard as you can."