Epperly says then -- and this gives me pause -- that you can't have it all. Which in some ways, maybe not. But as a way of once again shooting down Blair's feminist ideals in some future episode where she's crying about this, all "They told me I couldn't have it all but I have hubris about my capabilities as a Powerful Woman!" I'm troubled, because that whole lesbian debacle with the first Powerful Woman never sat right anyway. (Also troubling in this way: I don't think Serena actually was right about Ben. Which is going to give Dan twice the fucking ammo.)
Blair tries to talk her out of it, but things take a turn for the surreal: "As a token of my appreciation for helping me see what was missing in my life, I suggested that you be promoted to replace me. Congratulations. Stefano's giving you a trial run, starting now."
Yep, becoming the executive assistant to the editor-in-chief of a top-three fashion magazine really is that easy. Maybe you can have it all! Or as Epperly says, while Blair's flipping her wig about how she's also got a full load at Columbia: "If James Franco can do it, so can you. Blair, you wanted it all, and you just got it." Dangerous, terrifying words to live by, but words to live by just the same. I think I'll start saying that in the mirror every morning. "If James Franco can do it, so can you."
The Thoard has rescheduled their unreschedulable meeting so that Raina -- the daughter/veep who graduated a second ago from, admittedly, Wharton -- can be there. Her one condition on the purchase of Bass Ind.? "Give Chuck a chance to be part of the new company." And if you don't know that Chuck will be an asset yet, you will.
Across town, Dan and Nate have just had a very interesting meeting with the Belgian Ambassador about his son's activities. Damien just about loses his shit entirely, reduced to just pasta on the sidewalk, because he's going to get cut off. Thank God you've got a highly lucrative job there, buddy. Think you'll be okay. Hope you make it back in time for whatever crazy BS Ben Donovan eventually pulls.
And over in DUMBO, do I even have to say it? Serena gets her kiss.
And the wolves begin to howl. XOXO.
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