Within five seconds of Serena refusing to talk about it, mumbling about how one day he will see "what she sees" and this kind of thing, Dan's got it: She's in love with him. Dan's a real sleuth when it comes to these things: Is it Monday, Daniel? Because Serena's in love with somebody, and it's probably a bad idea. Yeah, you got this.

Then, hilariously -- the world so often conspires to prove Dan's point, it's maddening -- Ben calls her up on the phone to ask why there are two delivery men delivering a bookcase to the loft. Um, because you don't have one? Because Rufus is illiterate and Jenny was a feral mess and Dan's a poseur?

When Eric finally shows up -- you know, the person Serena was there to check on -- she doesn't even say hello to him, just slaps him on the ass on the way out. Dan and Eric have a little meeting about how Ben is evil, and Dan's like, "I'm intrigued, tell me more."

Which, we have that whole stiff-upper-Rhodes thing to thank for the fact that at no point during all this "my friend said X" and "Ben beat up my friend" does Dan think to go: "Your 'friend' wouldn't happen to be the evil drug dealer who nearly killed our sister? And was fucking you last week? And forced our other sister to make clothes out of drugs? And somehow engineered a way for her to feel grosser about not losing her virginity to him than she eventually did when she gave it to our brother? Our brother the rapist? And who's actually actively to blame for Ben going to jail? You're just being naturally cagey because of your creepster family, right? Let's go see this 'friend,' buddy."

Chuck's first question for B: "What can I do for you?" A: "Epperly, my boss." Fashion Week just started, but this performance review is tomorrow, and even though B just saved the day, she knows that won't save her from the tyranny of Epperly's nervous tension. "I believe that only one thing can relax Epperly, and it's something that I can't give to her." And that's why you'll never make it in this business, sweetheart.

Chuck says he's not sure his powers are at their peak, considering he hasn't yet boned Raina into loving him, and Blair just laughs. "That's how you win a guy's heart, not a girl's!" See, people have these things called "feelings," apparently, and sometimes if you want people to feel these "feelings" towards you, you have to do something about that. Chuck literally goes, "These feelings: Where are they located? Use any of the pornographic photographs all over the walls of this suite as visual aids, if necessary."