Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Imperial Bedrooms
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

"A wise woman," a lady named Burt Bacharach I think it was, "Once said that every morning when you wake up, you say a little prayer. After all, you never know what your day may hold!" So it's gonna be like that this week, eh, Gossip Girl? Got it. Go to your corner.

What everybody is doing: Chuck and Raina are having muscular sex that looks like a fight sometimes. Blair is not living up to Epperly's insatiable editorial needs. Serena is staring into space chewing on nothing. Rufus is showing up at Dan's house with Ben and a PO in tow, because guess what: You live with Ben now.

While Raina must call the aggressive sex off -- Russell calls -- Blair's boss Epperly's flipping because she needs a performance space for Florence + The Machine stat, due to the Ace having suddenly become unavailable. (This is all for a "kickoff" party of some stripe but I don't think we ever find out what is being kicked.) Blair's all about it -- yelling at caterers and florists and giftbaggeries is something she's been doing since she were wee -- but Epperly doesn't trust her, due to her being a child and already having been fired once in the day* since she started working here.

Oh, and tomorrow is her first performance review: How, over the last thirty-six hours, have you grown into your role in this internship? Blair monologues about all this absolute nonsense until one of the other girls is like, "Epperly is under actual pressure, you are under the pressure of being a crazy person. Hers wins."

*(I'm basing this on the fact that Damien is still wheezing from his Ben attack when he gets to his date with Eric in a second.)

No, no, says Blair: She's been doing Fashion Week since she were wee. And none rougher than when Eleanor was hard up -- in those long sad years between her gay husband and her wizened one, that period that went from a year before S1 and ended like middle of S2, those long sad years -- and all the sex she got from those two husbands that she didn't get between those two husbands.

Huzzah! It must be sex! (Such a Virgo.) "It's hard for a Powerful Woman to find the time!" So now how can Blair get somebody to fuck Epperly into submission without coming off creepy? "Maybe all I have to do, to get Epperly off my back, is to get her on hers!" (Still creepy.) The other assistant or intern is like, "Last time I checked the intern packet I don't think Pimp Daddy was included in the description of duties."

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Gossip Girl




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