Eleanor is creeped out by the mysterious model disappearance, even though it's more transparent than Chuck's plausible deniability exactly who did it. Laurel tells her not to worry about it: "Models lost, socialites save the day! Oh! Your show will get so much press, it'll drive Marc Jacobs to drink." Eleanor makes a third reheated rehab joke, and it's still not particularly funny. I think she does one in every scene, almost. They look at the debs, who of course all fit perfectly into the designs despite not being models and there being no time to fit them, but maybe I forgot to mention that the House of Waldorf theme for Fall 08 is Sisterhood Of The Traveling Couture, so actually they could have stuffed any old fat thing in the collection and it would still look... The way it looks. Although there's a frankly adorable nod to the fact that this show makes no goddamned sense when Eleanor's like, "I love how all socialites fit the frightening endomorphic freakshow proportions of supermodels, and yet are not models!" Yeah, now it makes sense. You kooky show!
Serena is suffering, as she must ten times in each episode before stoking her fire to the explosion point, a crisis of conscience about shit she already decided about. "Blair would be crushed. If anybody's gonna walk the runway in Eleanor's designs, it's her." The girl who was a bookcase? Now who's sabotaging? Poppy lays it down for Serena about how her whole life is spent making sure that Blair doesn't fall off the edge of her own insanity. She relays an anecdote in which she had a friend with a similar propensity for undermining Poppy's happiness, and that she found herself "always having to make myself less sparkly, so that she wouldn't feel insecure. Till one day I finally realized that's crazy, because a true friend would want you to be your most beautiful, vibrant self!" Poppy Lifton, I love you. You're just sparkly enough, from where I'm sitting. Serena's like, "True, but why cause pain to the only person I will ever be capable of truly loving?" Poppy's like, "Don't hide your light! You're gorgeous! Sweet! Amazing! ...Punctual! A supertaster! The enamel on your teeth is really strong! Donna Martin graduates! Take this tiny blue pill and let's go be alone together!" Oh, and by the way, this whole conversation is in couture hairdos, which makes it ten times more insane, because imagine a beautiful girl with her hair teased into a three-foot-tall rats-nest telling you to be more sparkly. I think Poppy Lifton deserves a spin-off.