Gossip Girl
Pilot

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Chivalry Is Dead But You're Still Kinda Cute

Anyway, Jenny's amazed and girl-crushing, and she is sure, now that Serena has been nice to her, that she'd "really like" Dan, if she knew him. Dan makes a passable attempt at joking about how Serena might be "overwhelmed by the glitz and the glamour of the Humphrey lifestyle," and Jenny bonks her own case when she relates that Serena's living at the Palace right now. "Probably sitting at the bar by herself, sipping martinis all alone... You know, it's actually kind of sad." Is Jenny psychic? That's amazing. Rufus is working late at the gallery, and then Jenny and Dan contemplate the inevitability of Dan heading over to the Palace to embarrass himself some more. Like, Jenny has already ordered dinner and didn't order any for him, turns out. So I guess she is psychic after all, because one scene ago he was hiding in some ballgowns to get away from Serena, and now he's stalking her at her hotel based on the word picture Jenny just painted. Whatever, whatever, an hour is not a long time and we've got a lot to get through.

But who arrives first to interrupt Serena's peace-and-quiet drunk? Chuck, of course, whose family owns the Palace. "I love this town. I'm going to have to tell my parents the hotel they just bought is serving minors." Um, just like every other bar in this whole show? Serena, clearly out of the witty repartee game, is like, "Then you get a drink and they will be serving minors and also pigs, who are also minors!" He chooses to call this "talking dirty," rather than what it is, which is "talking lame and awkward," and then makes some kind of rape joke about liking girls best when they're silent. He offers that they should catch up: "Take our clothes off, stare at each other." I kind of love Chuck. I mean, we can all agree that having sex with people without their consent is bad, I don't think anybody's arguing that it's not, but I also think that with Chuck around, you should carry a gun. So if you find yourself up on the rooftop with him and his scarf, or in the kitchen with him and a sandwich, all alone, maybe you should have thought first about that gun, and secondly reminded yourself that he's a perv and rapist. I don't expect to go to the reptile house at the zoo and have those things crawl all over me, because whether or not it's fair, they're still snakes and they're still gross, but sometimes they're fun to be around, as long as you keep your boundaries enforced. She thinks about taking off for a bit of a meal, and we note that she doesn't drink, except for right now because it's special. He offers her a grilled cheese with truffle oil, because she loves truffles. Serena thinks about grilled cheese, doesn't check for her gun, and heads off into the kitchens with Chuck. She's unsteady; he puts his arm around her.

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Gossip Girl

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