Rufus is up at St. Jude's, trying to work both his "slick rocker dad" thing and his son's "bumbling Beautiful Mind ESL" vibe. Neither of them work on the very striking day-player lady he snags at random, who informs him that all the usher positions have been irrevocably filled. She sends him to talk to the Committee chair, and the frosty chill that fills the room in advance of said chair is a sign to both of them that Lily is coming. Nameless advisor lady fully scuttles out of the room, wishing him luck and noting that Lily seems to be in a "good mood." I will miss her, she's got a certain something. Anyhow, she disappears just as Lily is arriving to tell Rufus, as usual, to fuck off sideways.
But Rufus comes busting into Humphrey House with some great news that is also a bit of a lie: he's gotten Dan "in" for the Ivy Week party tonight, with his name on the program and everything. Of course, he's not talking about the Dartmouth spot, he's talking about Refreshment Committee, which of course means serving drinks. Rufus does not explain that he accomplished this through secret means having to do with Lily's secret slutty history, but does drop the even bigger Shame Bomb that he'll be providing the entertainment. I'm picturing soft jazzy guitar renditions of "Tiny Bubbles" and "The Girl From Ipanema," and I'm right, but lest you think I went to Dartmouth, it was just the lamest thing I could think of. Dan is both impressed by and ashamed of his father and their new jobs as caterers, noting that neither "Refreshment" nor "Entertainment" existed as real committees until Rufus left the house. He further describes Lincoln Hawk as "early '90s post-punk math rock," evincing a less-than-clear grasp of most or any of those terms. Jenny invites herself along; Dan begins to weep.
Getting out of the car, Lily smothers Eric some more, cautioning him to alert her, should he get "all anxious," "light-headed," or "panicky." This kind of warning makes me all three. Eric assures her he'll be fine: "All I have to do is be normal." And in an aside to Serena: "Or at least act normal." Serena laughs that it works for their mom, showing that she's still in UES denial. "Acting normal" is clearly quite beyond the wheelhouse of anyone on this entire show. Inside, Serena immediately starts looking for the Yale rep, confusing her mom just enough that they can explicate exactly what's going on here: Serena wants to go to Brown, it's Blair that wants to go to Yale. Therefore, Serena's being a dick. Lily's like, "Right, right."