(Yeah for real that is what happened.)
Lily: "Oh you were high when we fucked? That's a relief, I just thought you were being rude when I ran into you at all those social events we're always going to."
Serena, quick when it suits her: "And yet somehow you never put together he was the same guy that was famously dating your famous daughter until just now at this horse show?"
Lily: "No, I knew. I'm just a bitch."
Bart: "Why are you here looking at horses, Chuck?"
Chuck: "What, I like horses. Big deal."
Bart: "Are you playing Lily somehow?"
Chuck: "Uh, you're the one that's having everybody followed again, which almost causes a divorce every time you do it. And sometimes gets people murdered, and sometimes you have to dress up all the Charlies as prostitutes for some reason."
Bart: "Stop liking animals. You're such a little pussy, just like your mother."
Chuck: "Which one."
Sage: "What the hell, bro?"
Nate: "I got a list of everybody Lily ever fucked from an unnamed source, and just ran it without looking at the nam... You know what, I'm going to keep that part of the explanation to myself."
Sage: "My dad was really warming up to you. I just don't even get why you're after Lily. You're like the only person she hasn't accidentally fucked over on this entire show, including Chuck who is the only one she even likes."
Nate: "I don't have anything against Lily! Just success."
LET'S JUST TOSS BLAIR IN THERE TOO
Blair: "What's the haps? And where have I been this whole time? Although thank God, since I'm even more poorly written than usual in this episode."
Chuck: "The Sheik is dead, my dad's a dick, and that little girl doesn't know shit."
Blair: "A little girl I can terrorize? Be right back."
Blair: "LITTLE GIRL. HELP CHUCK OR ELSE."
Iman: "Um, with what? He just threatened me with rape under the guise of asking horse questions, nothing I can't handle but certainly not something I can help him with."
Blair: "[Shitty racist joke.] Uncle Bart had your horses killed, okay? He doesn't give a shit. Now help Chuck."
Iman: "Okay, if I 'help' him, which you still haven't explained, will you stop bugging me? That look in your eyes gives a girl a chill."