Steven: "So about that sex..."
Serena: "I'm sorry, but it's gonna take me more than a car ride to forget the fact that you slept with my mother."
Steven: "Um, really?"
Serena: "No. Of course not."
Iman: "Apparently they just let little girls wander into the penthouse here."
Chuck: "Baby, they have express orders to do just that whenever the opportunity presents itself."
Iman: "Anyway, as has been obvious since at least the beginning of this episode, the reason your dad bought all those horses is because the US has an embargo against the Sudan and you can't buy oil directly."
Chuck: "Explain in excruciating detail. This is the kind of thing your average Gossip Girl viewer really wants to hear all about."
Fake Banker, or "Fanker," In Bart Bass's Employ: "Gosh, these artificially inflated numbers seem much more inflated than last time."
Nate: "I did some artificial inflating of them. Bart Bass told me to."
Fanker: "Spoiler alert, secretly he also told me to do this."
Nate: "Do what?"
Fanker: "Approve your loan or whatever was going on."
And so it is -- cheeks rosy, eyes glossy -- that Mr. Man finally heads home for a much-needed little nap.
Fanker: "I did exactly what you said."
Bart: "Everybody always does, for no real reason."
Fanker: "So you're cosigning this loan even though you know he's terrible at his job, yes?"
Bart: "I need a whatever-the-Spectator-is for when whatever is going on starts to go on."
Fanker: "Now will you be paying in cash, or horses?"
Lily: "Yeah, so on the one hand I lied to you. But on the other hand you had us followed."
Bart: "Yeah, but as usual I was right to do that, because you are always sketchy at all times."
Lily: "Charles loves you! And I love him!"
Bart: "Sorry but you can't hang out with him anymore until he is destroyed utterly."
Lily: "You bastard! HE IS MY ONLY CHILD!"
Blair: "So wait, explain this Sudan thing to me one m
Jean-Pierre: "Prettiest Minion reporting in. Your mother is about to come over here and fuck up your life. You have a month to turn shit around."