(And after the hinterland of nerd-joke, generally crappy writing that plagued last week's dialogue, I'm willing to give it high marks. I mean seriously, when even Lily van der Woodsen-Bass is splitting simple infinitives and talking like a not-particularly-bright high school freshman? "I clearly think that you could benefit from a little structure"? Fuck was that? I mean, it's true that I've met exactly two TV writers in my life who can spell simple words or even locate their shift key, but still. Invest in a script editor who speaks English, because I can buy that shit from anybody besides Lily and Blair, and this season has been a grammatical shitstorm, which throws the entire show off.)

"Dad you don't understand Eleanor put me in charge and it's a really big deal!" Jenny shrieks, loading up on her fifth pot of coffee. Rufus begs her to breathe, but no: "No time for oxygen! I am late. And I forgot my homework!" Isn't the point of homeschooling that it's all homework? Or else Waldorf still has her sorting samples, I guess. Or, cleverly, this is a microcosm of the episode and she's talking about the sketchbook, which she mentions several times and ends up still leaving at home, because trying to keep all your bases covered without keeping your shit together is a great way to have zero bases covered. She runs off, possibly into a wall for all we know, and Dan complains that she's making him feel like a slacker. That's not Jenny, that's God who's doing that.

"Maybe I can help you fix that," Rufus says, like it's a favor. "Tomorrow night's the Ermrose opening at the gallery. Vanessa and I could really use your help setting things up." Dan's like, "Urnfreblowns is that artist you discovered up at RISD, right?" And since neither of them choose to pronounce this important new character's name in any way, the exposition goes straight down the sink. "Yeah, the kid's amazing." Wait, what kid? Grimbletooth. Frunewocky. You know, from RISD? Erbleschmidt.

"Homework headset handbag check check check I have to pee guys have you seen my sketchbook?" She goes rushing into the bathroom, as the boys' negligent slacker reflexes try to catch up to her and start yelling, too late, because there's Nathaniel Archibald in all his naked glory, not even bothering to shift his towel or do anything but blink winsomely at her through his bangs. And she slows way down, because naked Nate is a cause célèbre on even the most methed-up morning. He's like, "Did you do something to your hair?"