Anyway so Blair grabs her martini and blows it off: "Yeah well I'll just keep on looking thank you you've been very helpful." Her hands are shaking. "To friendship," she says, raising her glass, and then... oh, B. She spills it all over his crotch, and immediately starts rubbing at the stain. That is some painful shit right there. He stands up with a towering rage: "I gave you a shot." Her face falls, because my God. Blair Waldorf, pulling this embarrassing shit? She's dropping pieces of herself and marbles all over the place, and it's so ... gross. And hilarious. "While your efforts were admirable, I'm bored." She gets even sadder, and then the real bomb: "And you ruined my pants." She begs with her eyes one last time, and he says goodnight and leaves her standing there. Ugh, that made my tummy hurt. I've embarrassed myself to a similar degree plenty of times, but in a more screaming-obsessive-car-window-shattering mode, not so much with the grabbing dick method, but still: What are you doing to yourself when you give up control?

In the Bedford Avenue Gallery, Grimbletooth is applying the last of his mighty words to the wall. Because it's an installation, you see, of deep shit in big letters on the wall, crossed with some kind of irritating, incomprehensible microphone system and glowing ball of bullshit, everything commenting on everything else and thereby deconstructing the nature of communication itself like something found in a balled-up tissue by Jacques Derrida's bedsit. I will not hold it against Schnerdlyfroo because I like him, and because: whoever sent Rufus Humphrey trolling at RISD knew what they were doing in about six different ways, because not only is it empty and silly and Nineties, but it's also Beginner Art for Stupid People, which is exactly what Rufus should be selling. Remember in the Yale episode when Blair warned Serena about studying Semiotics? This is literally why.

Serena enters looking for Dan, and without looking up Schnellodinsky is like, "Dan is in the café with Vanessa, opening up cheap bottles of blended wines for my embarrassing opening," and then he finally looks up and spots whatever torturous thing she's done to her breasts today and feels the first-ever stirrings of heterosexual desire deep within his Buddy Holly-bespectacled, skinny-jeaned self. Somewhere in a closet in Red Hook, a gigantic grey scarf begins to knot and unknot itself nervously, hoping he'll stop at bi so it can still come out and play at least occasionally.

He stands up nervously and asks her to look at his ridiculous art, and the part he's gluing to the wall right now says "SOMETIMES WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES..." and the huge block of boring self-important regurgitated text beneath includes such chestnuts as "you are both the author and the..." whatever the grimblefuck, and elsewhere it says NOTHING TANGIBLE OR PERMANENT IN THIS ROOM, okay? I can't wait to meet the undergrad Theory Survey professor that took this kid's virginity, because he did some fucking damage.