Blair's in her car going home from her humiliation, and whines -- not like his enemy, but like she would to Serena -- that his encouragement to throw herself at Chuck has now completely filled her up with humiliation. The one comestible she can't just barf up again. Even Dan can hear it in her voice, how they're friends now: "Chuck was completely unmoved!" Dan asks if he wasn't just playing it off, and Blair hilariously admits there was no "hard evidence of that," and Dan gets a little barfy his own self. "I didn't even get the chance to show him my necklace tangled up in my hair. The nape of the neck is Chuck's Kryptonite!" Dan files that one away for when he finally does it with Chuck, which at this rate will be next week, and pretends to be horrified. "So he just ... got up abruptly and he left?" Oh, Blair: "Like a Bass outta hell." Dan tells her this is exactly where she wants him -- and again, he's right at this moment in time -- and sends her to beat him home to the Bass/van der Woodsen suite, ambushing him. Blair is quiet, and then smiles sweetly, agreeing.
What Blair Says: "I'll let you know what happens."
What Blair Means: "Thank you. We are friends now, until you fuck it up again, and I officially invite you into my life, because you are proving to be dependable and caring, which is all that I require. All I ever wanted was a reason to like you."
What Dan Hears: "Nape...ape...ape. Kryptonite...ite...ite... Itch and scratch...atch...atch... Hard evidence...ence...ence... TMI! Forever!"
Dan closes his phone and says, quietly and hilariously, "...Oh please don't." Then the weirdly disembodied laugh of Serena comes vibrating flirtatiously from space. The eff? Ah, it's more "art." Over in the installation, Aaron explains that there are microphones hidden all around the gallery. And lest you think there is a narrative reason for that, let me put your mind at ease, because at no point does that red herring get served. Which begs the question: why is it there? On a show all about surveillance and celebrity and gossip and exterior/interior space, steel persona and whispered truth, why on earth would you expect a bugged installation -- the ultimate Gossip Girl, Gossip Girl as the interior space they are standing in -- to make drama happen?
Serena points out that this means that he'll hear everything everybody says about the art, and the camera starts whirling around them as if to say, "DO YOU GET IT YET? LOVE." Speaking of subtlety, here are some more things Aaron's "art" needs your ass to ponder: "Everything is in a state of constant flux." True, but self-evident. "You can't do anything wrong." True, but poison to this show because if they would just fucking chill for five seconds we would all jump into the Eric van der Woodsen hyperspace of self-acceptance and the show would vanish and come shooting out a white hole in some dimensional antipode where narrative and drama and television work the opposite of here. "It's not about the product it's about the process." Which: ugh. Not even worth it, except to say that everybody's breath eventually smells like McLuhan's balls at some point in life, but you don't have to roll around in it like a greyhound either.