Serena laughs at Blair's text -- "in ur room. This will B EZ" -- precisely because she knows it's a fairytale B needs to hear right now: the stories Blair tells herself to be brave. How different is this from the Yale stuff, really? Seen from the other side? "I will be victorious at Yale, because it is my kingdom." "I can't believe I was so afraid of Chuck, but now I see that I can get through this, grab what I need, and come out the other side without getting burned." And Serena, knowing exactly that this is what's required -- because she tells herself the same stories, rather than getting other people to tell them to her -- she responds, "UR so bad!!!!" Every exclamation point deliberate and full of love: : "Oh, it looks so good! You're doing so good! You got it! Look how good you are!"
Some kind of baroque romance song greets Chuck on his arrival at home with, I believe and one assumes, fairly disgusting porn in hand. He's drawn to the music, and finds Blair lighting candles around Serena's room, calm and lovely in the light, wearing a black barely-there chemise that's all whispering silk and fluttering soft straps. Humphrey Lesson Two: Be All Up In His Face. "What are you doing, Blair?" he asks, pulled into the room against his will, and without turning she puts her hair up slowly, showing him her Kryptonite. Something like excruciating pleasure crosses his face, as he realizes she's playing with him. He loves it. "Serena knew how upset I was. She didn't want me to be alone, so she invited me to sleep over..." He's zeroed in and turned on; his feet don't even touch the floor. "Go away, Chuck. It's pointless." Her smile is huge, but it doesn't touch her voice: "I'm not going say it..."
"I don't care," he says, and her eyes close with relief. It's happening, zipless and perfect, as his hands caress her back; the straps fall at his touch and the breeze is still. The story's coming true, all around her, and she turns to kiss him. And all he's saying, with his hands and his mouth, is that game is over. I love you, I love you, I love you. You win, risking nothing. You have me. He's a fox in her hands, and his little heart beats fast.
Blair's phone rings out once, into the silence, and then again. "Ignore it," she says, and something in her back, in her mouth as she's pushing at him, some fear or shiver in the dark, tells him the story. He dives her for phone, and the story ends on the bed, tangled up like school kids, fighting over the phone. He reads the text, and the words rearrange themselves as he's looking at them, telling a new story: "This will be easy." Chuck, in real life. "You're so bad!!!!" Every exclamation point deliberate, aimed at his heart. He throws the phone at her, on the bed, and leaves again. "You almost had me."