Gossip Girl
Prêt-à-Poor J

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
UES Artistes

"Oh, you are lucky that I don't just quit!" Jenny screams, full-on hardcore and awesome, because she is fucking right and she knows it, but it's still not something you get to say. Especially not if you're in the wrong, or have provided plausible deniability by running around with Agnes all night. "Then what would you do?" Eleanor, having lost this round, pulls herself back from the fight and breathes, and tries to turn it into a reasonable punishment instead of the end of the world: "Go on home. I'll see you Monday." But all Jenny can see is the Bendels and Barney's buyers fading into the distance, waving goodbye, and doesn't realize she's being offered a serious out here, so she strikes back twice as hard as before: "Can I at least have my dress back?" Eleanor shoves the thing at her, assuring her it's of no help, and points at the door.

Jenny gives one hell of a scary laugh, and I mean, did I mention Taylor Momsen rocks? I like her this season, but even still I wouldn't have thought she had this in her, because the body language is so intense and she's like rooted to the ground like a mighty oak, and even acting like somebody else I don't think I could stand my ground the way she does in this scene. She is like twice as tall as normal, and so is Eleanor, and it's exhilarating: "I don't mean this one," she says, without blinking. Eleanor is honestly shocked, and points at the green accidental finale dress from Bryant Park: "...You touch this dress, you will never set foot in here again." Without taking her eyes off her, Jenny reaches out and takes it off the rack, nearly balling up a fist in case Eleanor tries to stop her, and then gives the most awesome dead eyes. Later, bitch. It is so very epic! My companion gasped, because he'd completely forgotten to breathe during that whole part. She slams the door on her way out, and even Gossip Girl sounds a little reverent for the amazing shit that just went down: "Sometimes the most important thing to know is when to get out..."

"...And when to give in." Blair lies on her bed, contemplating Humphrey Lesson Three: Let Yourself Break. Chuck's phone bleeps as he's heading down the stairs, and the message is perfection: "You win. Tonight. -- B." He grins to himself, sweetly in love, and heads out into the night.

Bedford Avenue Gallery, where Dan and Rufus talk about how great the opening went, which is to a degree that makes Rufus feel weird about his previous openings, and Dan sees Serena ... And then Blair, standing next to her. "That's the second time that girl was here today. You're not...?" (TV Rule #300: If Dan laughs it off in reality or says they're becoming friends and talks about that, then they are not. If he shivers and stutters and stammers and wiggles and giggles and talks about how gross that is, tune in next week for when they fuck. I don't write the rules but you're better prepared for knowing them.)

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Gossip Girl




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