Gossip Girl
Prêt-à-Poor J

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Chuck's running down the stairwell from the Bedford roof, and by the way not only is he wearing a totally sweet suit with like, I don't know the word for it, but it's not piping because it's square, like on a tuxedo, but wide, like a barbershop quartet. It looks amazing. Man, when he was on the roof all in profile against the Brooklyn light pollution I was like, "And here I was thinking that I had a weird Scooby-related fetish for neckerchiefs last week that may or may not need investigating, but no: his profile really is that striking. I swear it's the hair, because I didn't find him attractive at all last year, just weird. Or maybe this show has finally broken me, because I could have sworn I used to say that about Nate too. And Dan. They were really fucked up looking at one time, weren't they? Is this just me? Did face fashion just catch up like it always does? Like did you ever notice that the random sexy ladies that were always magically appearing on like Bewitched or I Dream Of Jeannie were totally ugly, and wonder why? Or maybe it already did and I was just behind the curve. Again. It's like the Olsen Twins' Wonderful Fashion Sense debacle all over again. Is there a newsletter or something I can sign up for? Do I need to subscribe to W just to watch this show? And is that deductible?

Oh, shit, and does this mean that one day I will understand why Zac Efron's face doesn't make people want to fucking throw up because of how it looks? I need to chill out, I'm sorry. t.A.T.u. does something to me, apparently. But this is a very important scene. Dan tries to stop Chuck on the stairwell and Chuck's not having it, because he's about to start crying, which he is not physically capable of doing so the tears come out through his pores in the form of rage rays, and Dan begs him to stop, and Chuck's like, "No, numbnuts, I can hear you, I am choosing to ignore you." And then, despite his current revulsion to Chuck and his lying protestations to the contrary of his feelings for Blair today, he mans up and does the best thing he's ever done. "Don't. Because what just happened with you and Blair..." Chuck assures him it's not of his business but he keeps going, because it is: "Look, I don't know how you feel about her, but I do know how she feels about you, and she was going to tell you. Until I stopped her."

Lest we forget the other thing that's going on here, replace the café walls with those of a jail cell for sec, because this is the second time Dan's looked at one of Them and seen them for what they are and realized they could be loved. Nate was a foregone conclusion, of course, because he's not insane, but the first one Dan loved was Chuck. And Chuck loved it so much, and hated it so bad, that he practically tried to have Dan killed at Yale. Chuck had two friends, once. And now he has none, because first Dan hurt him and then took away Nate too. And that's the man speaking to him now, saying "I intruded into your places three times now, and I've betrayed you three times now, and I am trying to make it up to you, and give you back a piece of your heart."

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Gossip Girl




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