And that is why Dan wins this week, because he knows exactly what this is, and what it means, and how even saying this to Chuck is asking for it, but that it's also something only Dan can tell him, because only Dan knows the story here. Better than either Blair or Chuck, as it turns out: two people he could look you in the eye and claim to hate, and he wouldn't even be lying, but nothing that's simple, and this is him saying so. All that time Dan and Serena drove themselves nuts trying to make her more like him, when really all he needed was to be a little more like her.
It rubs off all the time; sometimes you don't even notice. Even trying on each other's clothes, like Nate and Dan, they didn't realize what they were trading: Max snaps pictures as they dance, dorky and completely carefree, and Agnes takes Jenny's scarf from around her neck, dances it around herself, and squeals as she dares herself and takes off her shirt. How much is theatre? Is she pretending to be as shocked as Jenny, that open-mouthed wide-eyed OMG? How many times has this happened? Max grins and Jenny is shocked; Agnes pushes back. "Oh, come on! Now it's your turn." Jenny is not interested, pointing out that it's totally weird, and Agnes is like, "Max doesn't care! He's a photographer!" Which is like staring times two. Jenny gives a little weirded-out giggle, and Agnes knows she's got her, so she twists the line: "Afraid that Eleanor Waldorf is gonna find out and get mad at you?" Snap-snap-snap. Isn't this freedom? Isn't this what you wanted? Declare yourself! Jenny reaches for her shirt and joins Agnes on the other side of the line, and Agnes is proud and pleased. "Yeah! Do it for Eleanor!" You want postmodern retelling of classic fairytale? How about Tweener Cinderella in her undies, dancing with a teen model while a sketchfuck Beauty Bar refugee goes click-click-click? When I say this is the best show ever on television I am not fucking around, I literally mean what I'm saying.
They dance around in their bras, which couldn't be less revealing, thankfully, and they pose for Max, and they are wearing a billion necklaces, and when somebody knocks at the door Jenny gets scared, but Agnes just scampers over and opens it, still wearing that wide-eyed face of What Happens Next. And of course, it's Nate. He stands at the door, shocked, with Agnes looming creepily behind him and Max going snap-snap-snap. "What have we here? Jenny Humphrey caught in her knickers by Nate, her knight in shining Armani..." I swear by the end of the commercial break Nate will have sold himself to Max in some way.