Gossip Girl
Prêt-à-Poor J

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Eleanor, once the Bloomingdale's guy is safely out of the room, is all smiles and cosseting, apologizing to Jenny about leaving her out of the meeting and with a predatory glint in her eye that you and instantly recognize even though Jenny's not there yet. You knew the second Eleanor brought up All About Eve that she was already feeling like Margo Channing, in the same way that the second your boyfriend accuses you of cheating on him is always the moment you can be sure he's cheating on you. She whines like they're old friends about how the guy was all about next season, which freaked her out for some reason like she's not been doing this for decades, and she's like, "Oh, incidentally and completely tangential to everything I just said, he really liked the dress you're wearing. Jenny giggles and blows glycerine bubbles and throws her skirt up over her head and whatever you do instead of paying rapt, suspicious attention, and Eleanor -- assured that Jenny is not actually here for this conversation -- goes, "Barneys and Bendel's are coming tomorrow. I have to have something to show them..." She stares at Jenny's head, waiting for the hamster to start running around in there, because what Jenny doesn't get is that she's not even a girl anymore, just like a giant hovering cartoon turkey leg, and that's why Eleanor's holding a knife and fork.

"Um," Jenny says brightly, "You could show them this dress!" Eleanor shrugs elaborately and is all, "GREAT IDEA, GENIUS! You're so pretty and funny and smart! I never would have thought of that! Give me the motherfucking dress." Jenny, thinking she's making a completely different deal than the one she's making, tries to negotiate an in with the buyers tomorrow, and Eleanor -- who knows how to play refrigerator mommy better than anybody, which is why Blair is broken -- gives her a totally conspiratorially and maternal smile. "Absolutely. When those buyers leave here, they will know the name Jenny Humphrey!" Jenny does a backflip and Eleanor switches back to her real actual scary self. "So, you are going to have to remake that dress. In my fabrics, of course," she says, sliding a bolt toward her. Jenny, patternless because she's this intuitive creative genius just waiting to pop, worries because that's not a lot of time to take her dress apart and make a new one, and Eleanor's gaze gets harder. "You expect me to reschedule Barney's and Bendel's?" Jenny slinks off. And you know what? No bad guy here. If I say "I am totally going to use you up and burn you out, okay?" And you say that's cool, then the asshole is you. I have to explain this to guys all the time, and it never ceases to amaze, but then, that's just another version of the game Chuck and Blair are playing, to wit:

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Gossip Girl

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