Gossip Girl
Prêt-à-Poor J

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
UES Artistes

Blair sits on Chuck's limo at some undefined UES time and location, in her cute earlier outfit: Humphrey Lesson One: Be Unavoidable & Unsubtle. He smiles hugely when he sees her, and she offers to go get a drink. "Want to say those three little words? Then no drink." She asks if his fear comes from a lack of self-control and crosses her legs, revealing sexy white garters and lace-topped stockings. She eyes him up, but he's mesmerized. He doesn't take his eyes off her for a moment as he leads her around the car and opens the door for her. "Spotted: Upper East Side beauty, laying down the gauntlet for her favorite beast. But careful, princess. It's gonna take more than a little leg to get this prince to ravish you..."

Which is totally correct, which just goes to show that Blair has actually been driven around the bend by this new Bass gambit, because this is the point -- the door opening, him acceding -- is when she should throw away the Humphrey Lessons, because this is the part that she knows. She's given in just that tiniest, tiddliest bit that Dan was right about, and now it's back to the game. But because she's at wit's end, she's going to stay on the Humphrey train and completely forget herself. All she needed was for somebody to write the story so she could put herself inside it, and Dan wrote a great first page, but that's where it should end. Blair's willpower has always been her greatest quality, obviously, but the thing that makes you awesome is always the thing that makes you suck so she bends it to making these -- as Gossip Girl keeps hammering this week -- fairytales come true and invariably they end up with not a whole lot of the original Blair ingredient that made the recipe so tasty in the first place. Watch, because in this episode Dan's always right but not completely right, and because she's Blair and throws herself into things like this, she overshoots it instead of tempering it with her own gorgeous brain. And all that means is that she's really in the wilderness. The thing about the Lessons, the Rules, is that they tell you what Men Are Like, but if you forget what You Are Like in the process, you'll always always lose, because not even Jenny Humphrey can be Jenny Humphrey 24/7.

Libation: "I'll have one drink with you, unless you can convince me why I should stay, of course." Blair says she's there to be friends, regardless of their "impasse on a certain issue," and then without pausing crosses the line into abjection. Albeit with some awesome dialogue. "So... Ever since Charlize Theron became the face of Dior, I've wanted to change my signature scent. I've been trying out a new one, I can't decide if I like it." She tosses her hair back and offers him her neck. "It smells a little like ... desperation," he says after taking a whiff.

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Gossip Girl




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