Serena: "...Well, my computer's gone."
NOLA: "Gossip Girl took it."
Serena: "How do you know? Are you psychic?"
NOLA: "No, you halfwit. But even if it weren't obvious, we would know anyway because we're the ones that set you up."
Serena: "But why? Just because I have tried to destroy both of you numerous times with it? Not to mention the fact that it's turning me into an insane addict?"
NOLA: "To be fair, mostly the latter. You are really starting to scare us. Do you know how desensitized Dorota has to be by now, to people acting fucking crazy?"
Serena: "I can stop any time I want! And I rarely used it toward nefarious ends!"
NOLA: "That's true, circumstantially, but the truth is that you are just exceptionally bad at using it at all. So it's not only sad, but also very sad. Two different ways to be very, very sad. Consider this an intervention."
Serena: "I'm going to call Gossip Girl's obsolete burner phone!"
NOLA: "To what end?"
Serena: "Because I am freaking out and have no idea what I'm doing! Oh wait. It says it's no longer in service. Guess I coulda seen that coming."
"Welp, I guess the last two episodes are going to be my brain going swiftly down the shitter. Probably start Season Six in a Betty Draper Fatsuit thanks to you assholes."
Chair: "Where's the rest of the cast gone?"
Chair: "Like it matters."
Chuck: "Hey, you look really fucked up. You look like I felt when I realized Jack Bass was my..."
Blair: "-- Let's just get out of here."
Chuck: "No more secrets, okay? Just tell me what's going on. Your seriousness is freaking me out."
Blair: "For once, it's not about me. But okay. I think you should go back in that house after I leave."
Dan: "Lucia, it's Dan Humphrey, author of Inside."
Lucia: "I was just about to get on a plane. Have you decided about Rome?"
Dan: "My girlfriend wants me to go..."
Dan: "...Which means I'm not."
Lucia: "Well, today was a fucking waste. Later."
Diana: "Shouldn't the boat be here by now? I was so looking forward to riding a boat away from this sex mansion in the middle of the night."
Jack: "Thanks for pretending to call the cops into your own sex party. Not that it helped, in any way."
Diana: "This ridiculous Byzantine plot is going to seriously cost you, once I go back to being just one person."
Jack: "Or maybe I'll just have you murdered."