Nate: "Man, waiting around for GG to get back online is a real bummer."
Lola: "About that. Serena said GG already knew Diana's big sex secret, so she's probably not going to care. Also, everybody is in cahoots with everybody else at this point, so there's that also."
Nate: "Then who can we tell? I wish I owned a magazine or website or webzine or newspaper or podcast or blog or something."
Lola: "Nate, you might own each and every one of those things. Nobody knows for sure. But you do own at least one of them."
Nate: "Are you saying I should use my newspaper to say the news?"
Lola: "Is there a downside to that?"
Nate: "Only one of us in this room is capable of that kind of critical thinking. And it ain't me, sister."
Dorota, verbatim: "Why you eat berries in dark?"
Serena: "Because I am losing it, Dorota. I am straight-up fucking losing it."
Gossip Girl: "Hey, bitches! I'm actually back for real this time. And here's a random blast about Blair and Dan dating, which I sure do hope doesn't push anybody over the edge..."
There's a sound, a little clink, a little bit like shattering glass, as what's left of Serena van der Woodsen's mind goes shooting over Manhattan's East Side, leaving sparks and little rainbow trails in its wake.
A screaming comes across the sky. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now. It is too late.
Blair: "Hey, babe. Are you mad because I ignored you all day and hung out with Chuck all day? Because it kind of seems like that would upset you. It certainly used to bother Prince Louis when I would do that, in every single episode."
Dan: "It's fine. Hey, as long as we're being honest, here's a huge lie about them not letting me into that summer program after all."
Blair: "You poor thing. Well, you'll catch the next one, Tiger. Because you are a rising literary phenomenon. Meanwhile, I have to tell you this amazing story about a brothel."
Dan: "I missed out on a trip to a brothel? Aw, man. I guess I will just never let you out of my sight, ever again, like a total psycho."
Blair: "You're so sweet! It all started with this secret code -- you know I'm an expert cryptologist, right? -- and there was this book, see..."