Gossip Girl
Raiders Of The Lost Art

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Jackdaws, Or: Humphrey's Complaint
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

PREVIOUSLY

Lola was pretty sure Serena was the new Gossip Girl, but her attempts to prove it seemed only to complicate matters further, while Diana Payne was interested in keeping Serena in power to protect secrets of her own. One of those secrets was (or was not) the fact that she is (or is not) one of Chuck's many mothers. After Nate whored himself out to the cougar once again, though, a strange photograph revealed that it might just be Chuck's father that's the real mystery after all.

GGHQ

Dorota: "Miss Serena, it smell in here like Mtn Dew and desperation."
Serena: "I'm just blogging up a storm, don't worry about it. It's this, or I kill myself."
Dorota: "You no learn how to publish blog then, because nobody know all this things you writing. Also, Mr. Nate fire you. Maybe short novel or novelette until you understand how internet work."
Serena: "I order you to be happy for me."
Dorota: "Then happy I am, you crazy brat."

PAYNE

Diana: "Uncle Jack, don't worry about our big sex party tonight. Surely everyone in the cast won't show up, like happens in every episode. Also, don't worry about our whole maternity/paternity trick on Chuck. This show almost never obsesses on that storyline, bringing it back from the dead like a zombie every three episodes. Everything is fine. Hang on, call waiting."

Nate: "You up? You out?"
Diana: "Nate, good to hear from you. Remember that book you stole from my underwear drawer last week?"
Nate: "I can honestly say that I do not."
Diana: "Put down the bong and bring me my book, or I'll act slinky and spooky about it."
Nate: "Seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about."
Diana: "It is not a compliment when I say this, but I almost believe you."

EMPIRE

Chuck: "Was that one of my moms?"
Nate: "Yeah, Diana. I 'played' it 'clueless.'"
Chuck: "We're never going to prove that Uncle Jack is my dad, because this whole book -- which clearly is central to that plotline -- is in a secret code. You know, like grown people tend to do with their dayrunners."
Nate: "You know who could help decode that book is a crazy person, like somebody from the military or a serial kil..."
Chuck: "-- You're right. Blair Waldorf is the key."

NOLA

Nate: "How about you, Lola. Any luck hacking into the Gossip Girl website using that old password?"

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Gossip Girl

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