Lola: "Are you happy to accept my unlikely charity?"
Ivy: "I'm cool with whatever."
Lola: "I mean, CeCe left you twice this amount originally, so..."
Ivy: "That's a good point. Hey, do you need anything? Like money to live on?"
Lola: "No, I just need you to take down Lily for presumably sabotaging my mom's defense."
Ivy: "To be honest, Lily has finally pissed me off enough that I'm down for that. Aren't you all about how you don't want to become like them? Isn't that why you're giving this money away?"
Lola: "I'm not. You are."
Which is kind of lovely, isn't it? Lola didn't ask for any of this, and even if she's not going to be a Rhodes power player she's still a van der Woodsen, so she's fine either way. And Ivy, poor Ivy. All she ever wanted was to be a Rhodes, and now she might as well be one, and there's nothing Lily can say about it. And Lily? Well, she's been asking for an ass-kicking all season, and now that she's back with Bart and Charles where she belongs...
Eleanor: "Why do you keep sighing? Are you sad about ditching Serena without a word? Or about leaving Dan behind? Or whatever Chuck shit?"
Blair: "Trust me, I'm just happy. Serena can go fuck herself, Chuck can go fuck himself, and Dan's been ignoring me all week. There's nowhere else I'd rather be than where I am. Thanks to Chuck's money, I mean."
Yay! Powerful Woman. The shape of things is looking better all the time...
Jack and Chuck are counting cards in some casino, maybe in Monaco? So that's a sensible plan, I guess. Jack's a card-counter.
Over at the Empire, Diana sends Nate a thumb drive with footage of the real Gossip Girl stealing Serena's laptop at the India Sex Party, and it would seem to be ... A?
Dan has done a full face-heel: He's joined in a towncar by Miss Georgina Sparks herself for some crackling dialogue and a free trip to Rome.
Georgina: "You're lucky you're on my free pass list, otherwise Phillip might've put up a fuss..."
Daniel: "This invitation isn't about seduction, Georgina, it's about scandal."
Georgina: "Can't a girl have both?"
Daniel: "I need your photographic memory and your passion for social upheaval to help me write the book about the Upper East Side. The book I should've written from the beginning."
Georgina: "Nothing like a scorned lover to scorch the earth. I can hardly wait."