Eleanor: "Blair darling, why is our maid carrying your entire set of Tiffany-blue heart-locketed journals going back to when you were just a tiny little asshole? And more importantly, why are you dressed like White Trash Barbie?"
Blair: "There is no explanation for the latter. To the former, I can only say that probably the horrible things I think and say could very well impact your business. Since it's been a couple months since I last endangered your livelihood, and all."
"My mother considers herself an arbiter of Parisian style, but the only French she's intimate with are ... fries."
Eleanor, awesomely: "Well. The reflections of an overprivileged and under-attentive thirteen-year-old have no bearing on the business I'm in town for."
Blair: "We can talk more about that, but my minions have arrived."
Dorota hands out diaries to the Plastics, and they do minion-y things. Haven't missed those ladies, not one bit.
Serena: "Dan, hi. I'm really sorry about what I did but I am fixing it."
Dan: "What you did? Oh boy. What is it this time?"
Serena: "Who cares, just don't read Gossip Girl, okay? As an act of your higher moral character."
Dan: "Okay, I'm going to go read Gossip Girl now. Duh."
And what is her plan? Oh, it's real simple.
Serena: "Dear Gossip Girl (whose email address is simply Gossip Girl), I will do anything to keep you from posting more of this shit. Signed, Faustus."
Rufus: "Hey Dan, have you given any thought to my problems?"
Dan: "No, to the extent that I have no idea what you are talking about."
Rufus: "I'm talking about my bigamist wife who pays for all our food, clothing and shelter. She's going to need an annulment, and I'm starting to think that my constant emotional abuse and complete lack of a personality or charisma might end up being a bad thing."
Bart: "So where does all this leave us? And why are you dressed like Eighties Trash Barbie?"
Lily: "To the second question, there is no answer. To the first, I'm interested to see what your take is. I have become quite the negotiator since you died."
Bart: "Well, first I want to thank you for adopting Chuck, which everybody including the recapper forgot about. That was a cool move."
Lily: "He's the only person on this show I like, so it wasn't really a question. But it's funny that we're now legally married and legally share a son."
Bart: "Isn't it? Hey, what if I just move in here and be normal and stuff?"
Lily: "I'll need to see your portfolio first."
Bart: "I mean, things are going great with Rufus, right?"