"I will never love Chuck again after what he did tonight. He's a monster, and deserves to be alone forever."
Blair: "So are you happy now? Now that I'm as lonely and miserable as you are?"
Serena: "I am not to blame for everything bad in your life! The fact is that you spent this season juggling Chuck and Louis. Why steal Dan too?"
Blair: "You don't steal boys. You should know this by now, and you probably would if you'd grown up even one little bit since high school."
Serena: "Ouch! Well, you're still in love with Chuck. Deal with that."
Blair: "That sentence does to me what the word irrelevant does to you. And I just remembered this is my house and you only live here because we're friends, so guess what."
Serena: "Can I remind you that I knew what was in these diaries the entire time, and still loved and supported you? Even knowing that you weren't really into Dan. And now you're kicking me out? Just for ruining your life?"
Carol: "Being on the inside has made me a different person. Prepare for me to act normal and caring. We'll start with, what a nice surprise that your father didn't doublecross us like I assumed he would, or like I keep doing to him. I'm glad you have all this money! We don't use money in here. Just cigarettes."
Lola: "I can't wait to get you a great lawyer."
Carol: "The firm of Abrams & Weil has taken my case! Based on reading about me in the New York Social Diary, I guess my relationship to the Lily and Bart situation is finally getting momma some traction..."
Lola: "Wait. Did you say Abrams? That's what people always call me, softly and under their breath, when I act the fool."
Carol: "In any case, move in with Nate. I don't really care about anything anymore."
Lola: Dear Lily, we need to talk about some things. I'm worried your sister has gone crazy. She's acting way too much like a mom right now and it's freaking me out.
Bart: "Allow me to reiterate that I am proud of you, son. Even though you're wearing more purple than ever."
Chuck: "And how are things going with you and Rufus's ridiculous pissing contest?"
Bart: "She's a Powerful Woman, Charles. Which reminds me, how is life under Blair's constant fickle flakiness treating you these days?"
Chuck: "Somewhere between getting shot and having amnesia and importing a French whore to be my girlfriend, that got messed up. I didn't rape anybody, but I did break some housewares and went through a Fight Club period."
Bart: "And then she married a prince, and now she's with Dan Humphrey? That is a fucking laugh. Get in there, little man."