Gossip Girl
Return Of The Ring

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 8 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Fallout Girl
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

PREVIOUSLY

At some point I'm not exactly clear on just yet, Serena submitted a page of Blair's diary to the real Gossip Girl, with the hopes of sinking the blossoming Dair and/or putting Chair back together. Between the setting of the bomb and its explosion, however, Blair and Serena had a really sweet scene together that seemed it might have solved Serena's season-long problem with being a crazy person. Bart returned to eff up Lily and Rufus's effed-up marriage. Oh, and way back before the show started, Serena and Nate did it at the Shepherd Wedding, which spun Serena out into a pants-free killing spree that ended with her sending herself to boarding school. Tonight -- brilliantly! -- the Shepherds are getting divorced.

In the real world, of course, our loss was Smash's gain. I've bitched nonstop about the show for the last two years, of course, but I must say that everything I didn't like over here will be a great boon over there. Safran's a stand-up guy, and I'll miss his particular viewpoint. The silver lining is that -- for GG's final, 11-episode season, the exec will be Sara Goodman, who I very much adore. To wit: Georgina takes down Poppy Lifton's Ponzi scheme, loses the love of Jesus and Lily sends Serena to Gotye jail! Jenny orders a Halloween assassination hit on Eric's boyfriend! Jenny and the drug-shrug! That fake psychiatrist lady is brainwashed into giving Lily fake cancer! Nate and Raina vogue, stoned, while Eric and Damian's relationship goes from creepy to creepier! And those are just the pretty good ones; she also wrote these highlights of the series-as-a-whole: Dan fingerbangs Cousin Peepers on Queller's desk, and she makes him call her Serena! Serena and her best buddy Inspector Chevalier solve the mystery of Henry Prince! And then -- in addition to tonight's finale episode -- the gold-star High Achiever Award-Winner of the last two seasons overall: The Night Of 1000 Serenas, where Juliet roofies her and kidnaps her! Anyway, that's what is going on behind the scenes, and I couldn't be happier: Two shows will be coming back in the fall with a shitload of firepower behind them, and I think it'll be great.

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Gossip Girl

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