Gossip Girl
Return Of The Ring

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 8 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Fallout Girl

MONTAGE

Jack and Chuck are counting cards in some casino, maybe in Monaco? So that's a sensible plan, I guess. Jack's a card-counter.

Over at the Empire, Diana sends Nate a thumb drive with footage of the real Gossip Girl stealing Serena's laptop at the India Sex Party, and it would seem to be ... A?

MOST DELICIOUSLY

Dan has done a full face-heel: He's joined in a towncar by Miss Georgina Sparks herself for some crackling dialogue and a free trip to Rome.

Georgina: "You're lucky you're on my free pass list, otherwise Phillip might've put up a fuss..."
Daniel: "This invitation isn't about seduction, Georgina, it's about scandal."
Georgina: "Can't a girl have both?"
Daniel: "I need your photographic memory and your passion for social upheaval to help me write the book about the Upper East Side. The book I should've written from the beginning."
Georgina: "Nothing like a scorned lover to scorch the earth. I can hardly wait."

Dan: "You always seem like the only person who understands what show we're on."

AND SERENA?

Well, she's back on the train... And fucking randoms for coke! Trainwreck on a train, holla! His name's Steve, but she don't care, she just wants to party. I'd watch your ass, Steve. You probably won't live for long.

BASS BOYS

Back at the casino, Jack produces... Blair? Looking glamorous as all hell.

Blair: "You fought for me all year. I've come to fight for you."
Dealer: "You all in?"
Blair: "You bet your ass. And I'll bet mine."

I buy in. I buy it all. Serena going full-on Leaving Las Vegas, Blair determining she can have her company and her Chuck too, Lily and Bart, and even Dan's new twist toward notoriety. It seems inevitable -- and not, for once, because the plot requires that people act stupid to justify the story. Blair making choices is a good thing, even if I don't love the choices she's making. It seems authentic to me, anyway. And if it pisses off shippers, which I am sure it will, so much the better. So Blair sits, and bets on them again, and Chuck stares, and she graces him with the sweetest smile on Planet Earth, and I'll see you in a few months. XOXO.

JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps Gossip Girl, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars and True Blood for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, on Twitter, and on Facebook. IRL work appears in BenBella's SmartPop series of anthologies, most recently A Friday Night Lights Companion and Fringe Science.

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Gossip Girl

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