Speaking of Ruphrey and D-Bag, they are just strolling in some flat-front slacks and adorable hair/burns combo (for the latter) and an outfit made entirely of linen (obviously for the former, whom you know has spent the summer pretending he's some kind of like Sting Tantra Terry Gross open-design internet bubble Josh Brolin limo liberal type. Which of course is what he is.) D-Hump points out that Rufus has been drinking his coffee out of CeCe's china all summer, and now has to go back to his Welcome Back Kotter mug at home. Rufus, always able to duck his own vituperative hypocrisy like a ninja, is like, "Well, I like the real world, too." By which he means, "I can't wait to leave this decadent Hamptons lifestyle for our decadent UES lifestyle, now that I am just actually a kept man."

Dan and Rufus go to collect the children by the pool, and they all discuss how Serena was at an ashram on some kind of Eat, Pray, Love-inspired mess, and maybe she took a vow of silence, but Dan of course points out that she's a silly stupid thing that can't keep her mouth shut, and then as though anyone asks notifies everybody that his very important presence will be missing at some point today because he needs to talk to Vanessa. Nobody cares. "...Because she apparently has something to tell me about how she spent her summer." Nobody cares again. Jenny finally asks from inside her coma whether V wasn't in Europe with Nate, and thus may be intending to tell an even more boring story than Dan might be anticipating.

Which is funny as it's both an awkward segue to the next thing, and a reminder of how all of this happened last summer, when Blair and Chuck were going to reap the whirlwind all summer and ended up both becoming mentally ill instead. So even though Nate and V made it out of the country, they didn't stay hooked up, which is sad but also good because how boring can two people be, but mostly sad because as you'll see, Nate got more like Vanessa but Vanessa also got more like Vanessa.

Nate makes out in a helicopter with the ratty face of Bree Buckley, a mysterious girl he grew up with, and is currently making out with, but doesn't actually recognize. This is because have you met Nate. They finally get out and she has a huge purse, which as you know is the number one danger sign. They talk about how if Nate hadn't been sitting in that seat next to her, she would have been handing out the 'jobs to somebody else all across the Atlantic. Which doesn't really speak too highly of either of them, but then that's how Nate sees most of his hookups -- geographically -- so maybe they're a perfect couple. Chuck is going to eat her ratty self, I can feel it.