She whispers how sorry she is and waddles away, but I'm sorry. No. I'm all for having them on equal footing -- both assholes, neither victims -- but saying it's Blair's fault he's a violent, creepster rapist? Really? That far, huh?

STUDIO 54 PRE-PARTY @ PRADA

Weird and totally awesome:

CeCe: "I didn't know you could drink champagne without snorting a bunch of coke!"
Lily: "Charlie, go sit somewhere she can't get her crazy on you."
Rufus: "We framed this picture of you partying back when cameras were just invented, CeCe! Please love me. Please, God, anybody. I just want to be touched."
CeCe: "I don't even remember this night! I was all fucked up on jimmies and elephant tranquilizers and bath salts and formaldehyde and those little red dots on paper, I forget what you call him. Cuban Missile Crisis? No... Bart Simpson. The good shit."

Carol: "I hate how my mom likes my sister more than me, and still don't understand after forty-some years why that would be."
Ivy: "Oh we friends now, bitch? Be nice to her, she's signing tomorrow."
Carol: "You got more out of her in three minutes than I have in forty-five years."
Ivy, awesome: "I was just kind to her. Maybe you should try it?"
Carol: "Fuck that. My jealousy is now a dirty bomb frag grenade that shoots everywhere. Stop trying to Dickie Greenleaf my family from underneath me. I hate them, but I have very little territory in this world."
Ivy: "Whatever, Clownpants McCrazytoot."
Max: (Arrives, looking splendid. Good version or Bad version?)
Ivy: "Aw, shit."

Serena: "Hey Max! Hey Charlie! I mean Ivy! I am taking every single one of you motherfuckers down."
Lily: "[Supplies the big Ivy lie to smooth things over as the other ladies run up.]"

Serena yells random things and names at everybody so loud, and stomps so hard, that CeCe drops dead.

GG, keepin' it classy: "Just when things are about to hit the fan, they hit the ground instead... With a thud!"

Although in all fairness, it was quite a thud.

STILL PRADA

Everybody jungle-gyms all over CeCe because she is so rich and they all want to be the one to save her. This takes a lot of time and a lot of simpering from everybody.

Ivy: "Just tell them, Grandma."
CeCe: "I will fuck you up so..."
Ivy: "She's been dieting!"
CeCe: "Oh, girl. You get all the money."