Gossip Girl
Rhodes To Perdition

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
It's A Fire


Weird and totally awesome:

CeCe: "I didn't know you could drink champagne without snorting a bunch of coke!"
Lily: "Charlie, go sit somewhere she can't get her crazy on you."
Rufus: "We framed this picture of you partying back when cameras were just invented, CeCe! Please love me. Please, God, anybody. I just want to be touched."
CeCe: "I don't even remember this night! I was all fucked up on jimmies and elephant tranquilizers and bath salts and formaldehyde and those little red dots on paper, I forget what you call him. Cuban Missile Crisis? No... Bart Simpson. The good shit."

Carol: "I hate how my mom likes my sister more than me, and still don't understand after forty-some years why that would be."
Ivy: "Oh we friends now, bitch? Be nice to her, she's signing tomorrow."
Carol: "You got more out of her in three minutes than I have in forty-five years."
Ivy, awesome: "I was just kind to her. Maybe you should try it?"
Carol: "Fuck that. My jealousy is now a dirty bomb frag grenade that shoots everywhere. Stop trying to Dickie Greenleaf my family from underneath me. I hate them, but I have very little territory in this world."
Ivy: "Whatever, Clownpants McCrazytoot."
Max: (Arrives, looking splendid. Good version or Bad version?)
Ivy: "Aw, shit."

Serena: "Hey Max! Hey Charlie! I mean Ivy! I am taking every single one of you motherfuckers down."
Lily: "[Supplies the big Ivy lie to smooth things over as the other ladies run up.]"

Serena yells random things and names at everybody so loud, and stomps so hard, that CeCe drops dead.

GG, keepin' it classy: "Just when things are about to hit the fan, they hit the ground instead... With a thud!"

Although in all fairness, it was quite a thud.


Everybody jungle-gyms all over CeCe because she is so rich and they all want to be the one to save her. This takes a lot of time and a lot of simpering from everybody.

Ivy: "Just tell them, Grandma."
CeCe: "I will fuck you up so..."
Ivy: "She's been dieting!"
CeCe: "Oh, girl. You get all the money."

They hem and haw about how she needs a snack to go to her party, and Serena makes her meanest face yet.

Serena: "Once you get that old thing back on her pins, we can interrogate Ivy some more."

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Gossip Girl




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