Gossip Girl
Rhodes To Perdition

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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It's A Fire

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A Very Dapper Nate: "You know how Diana always used to say that we wouldn't do muckraking stories about people, and then inevitably all she wanted to do was rake muck? Ctrl-V that speech into my mouth right now."
Intern: "What about a famous Congressman's wife who is cheating?"
Nate: "Yeah, that doesn't sound trashy at all."

Actually, what he says is, "We've heard that story a million times," as though we've heard that story a million times. You know, where the wife of the politician is the cheater. Womans, get thee to one of several various party-affiliated nunneries.

Nate: "Do you have a new, fresh angle on this boring old story that' happens all the time'?"
Intern: "Well, one interesting part is how it's Tripp's wife. Maybe I should have led with that."

A LITERAL DINER CALLED LITERALLY "DINER"

Max: "You got my money yet?"
Ivy: "It's not that easy! Turns out."
Max: "Okay, I'm dating Serena by the way. So chop-chop. I could tell her any amount of things and she might remember them."
Ivy: "Please don't show her that very incriminating high school playbill you keep in your pocket."
(I know that sounds like something I would make up, but it isn't. He flashes it at her like a gun.)
Max: "The more we date, the stupider she becomes. I will tell her that you are a white trash wannabe."
Ivy: "So are you, and she's still dating you. Also, Lily is going to expose us both."
Max: "Yeah, I'm avoiding the Rhodes Women. Because they are accursed, but also because not even Lily is that drunk this early in the day."
Lily: "...Sounds like a challenge, Mothafucka!"

Aunt Carol: "We have a problem."
Ivy: "I know! We have to pay Max off right away before the jig is up!"
Carol: "No, my problems. Specifically, I can't withdraw huge amounts of money from the bank anymore because CeCe is onto me or something."
Ivy: "I can't help you with that. We don't even know each other. I think she has dementia to even pretend that we've met before."
Carol, with a bizarre vehemence and even weirder cadence: "You keep working on Max, I will work on my mother."

She looks like shit. I love ya, Carol, but you look busted like Jenny snorted Agnes right now. Best get that crack money soon because you are looking like Pete Fairman with no ambulance on the way.

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