Gossip Girl
Rhodes To Perdition

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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It's A Fire

Nate: "Sorry about punching you that time Chuck got the post-traumatics from Serena's horrifying car accident where her forehead got scratched. And you were killed by wolves. And sorry that your pointy mean wife is banging the yachting instructor."
Tripp: "Me too. Essentially. I thought she'd finally forgiven me for statutory raping Serena that time she was my intern."
Nate: "Bygones."
Tripp: "Yeah, I guess we're even. From that time."

Nate, somehow: "Granderbilt, some banal thing Tripp just said about travel arrangements makes me think that Maureen is lying about having an affair. I will find out more."

Suggestions: She is like one of those people who marries a bridge, only it is yachts. (I was going to say "Yachtjectum sexual," but as it turns out yachtjectum is somehow the grossest word ever typed on the internet, so I will abstain.) Alternately, she is having an affair with Vanessa's lesbian sister, who has a morbid fear of yachts. Or maybe she is having an affair with Nate and he forgot.

THE STREETS, WHERE CAROL IS WELCOME

Dan finds his anonymous hater on GG, because now everybody on earth is somehow GPSd by Gossip Girl which is why you should not get your kids immunized.

Dan: "This is getting dangerously close to that time Aaron Sorkin lost his shit on the internet. One would hope that, knowing history, all involved would refuse to repeat it."
Floppy-Haired Cute Stranger: "Stop talking to me. I have to go get a haircut right this instant. Your terrifying visage has changed things inside of my mind."
Dan: "I am stalking the stalker. I will keep talking until..."
(The door opens, revealing @IHATEDANIELHUMPHREY or whatever it is.)

Agent Alessandra: "I am the stalker! Twist! I don't wish to make money!"

THERAPY

Blair has dragged Chuck to his new therapist, who is an old white dude, to monitor her getting his psychological information out of the man. She calls their time in the office "monkey business," and Chuck makes another snide therapy joke about how Monkey's business is that he is depressed -- or, even more depressing, we're meant to believe (on top of this situation which already would never happen) that Chuck indeed gets dog therapy information from his personal People Therapist on the reg. It is all quite droll either way.

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Gossip Girl

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