Therapist: "Why? Why are you here?"
Blair: "I'll ask the questions, thanks. I won't having you shrink me, and -- between my bulimia and Harold's gayness -- I know all the tricks. Just tell me why Chuck is great now."
Chuck: "There's not, like, one thing. I can't believe even you are this crazy."
Therapist, succinctly: "It sounds like you want Louis to be more like Chuck."
Blair: "No, I just want Louis to be like he used to be before he turned into Chuck, which looks a lot like how Chuck is now."
Chuck & Therapist: "Oh, so you are fuckin' crazy."
Blair: (One unending ceaseless shriek, like always.)
Chuck: "Okay, fine. I left your diamond ring on the step at Harry Winston. Boom, fixed."
Blair limps out of the room in a fairly distressing display. It is actually very sad and affecting. I don't know what else to say about that, because the subtext is text at this point, but I would imagine that "All it took to stop being fucked up was getting rid of our engagement ring," regardless of whatever else is going on, that would get you in the nards.
Rufus: "You look like Cheryl Tiegs in this ridiculous old-person dress!"
Everybody Watching: "We have no idea who that person is!"
Lily: "Thanks. That reminds me of what a cunt and a bad mother my sister is."
Carol: "My ears are burning! Last I heard we were fakers that liked each other!"
Lily: "Yeah, well I found out that you were forcing her to call herself Ivy Dickens and that is just the living end."
Lurking Serena is looking, first of all, like Roseanne Rosannadanna. I get the Noosha Fox thing she's going for and I appreciate it wholeheartedly, with the whole of my heart, but man is it risibly uncomfortable to look upon. I kind of want a door-sized poster of her in this disco inferno of an outfit so I can look at it all the time and feel nervous about things for sure. Second of all: Do you think Serena will figure it out?
Meanwhile, Carol is yelling at Lily about the whole "Ivy" fiction and how hard it is to be a Rhodes, and again it's weirdly awesome that the liars are so committed to this lie. Like, usually there are two things going on with the conversations on this show at any time. But with Carol in town, just lickety-split en pointe with the details of the more and more complicated web of lies they are spinning, makes it superbly surreal. Kind of like with Juliet last year, or the final Ivy reveal in the finale. One questions what is truth and what is conspiracy, does one not, when the lies are spoken with such conviction.