Tripp and Nate apparently made up. Serena looked awesome crazy in honor of CeCe's druggie history. Chuck figured out that Dan was in love with Blair, and was cool with it because he has been replaced by the nicest guy of all time. Dan was going to make a movie, then he wasn't, and he crapped on Serena for about the millionth time. She still isn't over it. Ivy became Charlie Rhodes on a permanent basis once Max executed a left-field face-heel turn of epic proportion. Oh, and Gossip Girl got torpedoed by Louis, lending yet more credence to Nate's ... whatever it is. His media concern.
Everybody's having waffles for breakfast while they discuss Charlie's year-too-late social debut into UES society. Which, as we all know, amounts to mostly people that live in PRADA. Dan and Rufus have their favorite conversation about how Inside is doing, and this week it is doing great thanks to Alessandra's highly ethical use of social networking.
Rufus: "More waffles, Dan? I am parenting."
Serena: "I got some spare bitchface if anybody needs more."
Charlie: "Morning, everybody! I just destroyed my old identity in Jenny's room, cutting up my identification and other papers into small chunks. I hope that Rufus doesn't go through my trash like always."
Serena: "Seriously, this bitchface is getting cold. Dan, would you like a heaping helping?"
Dan: "I've got some to share with you, too. How about I call you a whore for the first of many times at breakfast?"
Gossip Girl: "Turns out getting hacked ruins your credibility. Somebody please send me some infos on some people."
Charlie: "I can't believe I finally get to have a coming out party, and see what a spa looks like. Tell me again the upper-crusty story of how Aunt Carol's debut was as obnoxious as everything else about her."
Everybody: Has just straight-up started slugging champagne at breakfast. Lily's a trendsetter!
Charlie: "Oh, sorry about my psycho ex-boyfriend who tried to warn you about me."
Lily: "That dude had problems!"
Dan: "No wonder Serena liked him so much."
Serena: "Nice burn on yourself, retard."
Serena: "Between the waffles, that cowl-neck and million necklaces, and this big party in your honor, I'd say all that's keeping you from once again going Single White Female all over my life is that you still don't have the boobs."