Dan opens the mystery compartment and sends Chuck inside. Serena, Charlie and Nate watch this go down, and stare blondly at what is clearly occurring. Then they explain it to each other for a while.
Serena: "Somehow, I am still pissed."
Nate: "I sure hope the paparazzi don't know Blair's here! Journalism, right?"
Charlie: "Explain to me how this works. Are you saying that the paparazzi could shut down the party? Just to get a photo of famous people doing things?"
Nate: "Yes, that is how it works. You have grasped it."
Charlie texts Gossip Girl, having apparently decided to sink her own personal debutante ball for some reason. I guess because Max exists, she can no longer have parties? (Jacob from the future here, saying that this will eventually make sense.)
Blair, following suit this season, takes a hundred years to understand what the fuck is going on. Chuck must use tiny little words.
Chuck: "Dan arranged it for us. The us I should have fought for when you called. The us that is not just you and me, but you, me and your baby. I thought it was selfish if I was the one to tell you to break up your family."
Blair, being an asshole: "That was the moment you chose not to be selfish?"
Chuck: "Well, that was a cheap shot out of nowhere. Anyway, I had it all wrong. Just because Louis is the father of your baby does not mean you should be with him. You should be with me, because I'm going to love your baby as much as I love you."
Or else, as I still believe, this whole thing has been actually because he is destined to marry Blair's baby Sophlanore in a hideous werewolf ritual.
This is, of course, when the blast hits from Charlie sabotaging her own party -- I mean, in this show, there are no doormen or security so I guess it's a real concern that Max... Oh wait, maybe she's afraid of having her pictures taken. It wasn't the Max part, I get it now, it was the paparazzi part. Apparently the famous part of being rich and famous is just now reaching her brain.
Blair: "Shit, I gotta go. GG just blasted that I'm here with you, and if there are pictures of us hanging out in this torture chamber I am fucked. I need to let Louis down easy."
Chuck: "Let me come with you."