He does a total Gomez Addams on her, and then Nate comes in and ushers them out and down to the garage, where wolves -- and cars -- await.

Cars, you see, that drive over bridges. Cars that sometimes get fucked with, by the paparazzi. Cars that often carry boys, and girls, who live their lives like candles in the wind. Never knowing who to cling to, when the rains set in.

Of all the Season Five twists and turns, this is already by far the Season Fiviest.

TACKY TACKY TACKY

Lily, my emph.: "Wow. The paparazzi are aggressive tonight. They must really want a shot of our new It Girl!"

And yeah, Charlie stands up to have her pictures snapped by dozens of paparazzi, despite her fear of them. I thought for a second that I was wrong and that it really was about Max, but then she made her worried face. Charlie kind of gets in her own way sometimes.

GAR(B)AGE

Nate, for real he says this as they're getting in their separate cars:

"Took you long enough! And I'm not talking about the walk from the lobby to here..."

He is talking about their love, you see.

Gosh, I hope this happy ending doesn't end in an unexpected thing that has already happened at least three times on this show! And so soon after, yet again, Blair begged Chuck to make all her decisions for her -- only to have White Knight Humphrey, the guy who loves telling girls what to do more than anything, take the decision out of both their hands.

But -- ha! -- it does remind me of this amazing dream I had! The night before the Royal Wedding, I dreamt I was reading a magazine and came across a New Yorker-style cartoon of these British bobbies standing over a car wreck and the caption was, The news cycle just keeps getting shorter!

At the time I thought this meant that I was secretly a really bad person, but apparently I'm still not as bad a person as the people who write this show, because they connected those dots while in a waking state. B&C's car, of course, is leaking a fluid. And wolves!

INSIDE

Serena approaches Dan with a contrite look and worries over him for a second before apologizing for her totally right lecture before. Confoundingly, this episode is still pretty awesome despite the wolves.

Dan: "You were right, I was gonna tell Blair how I felt about her."

It's important that Serena be the one to say it out loud, so she does. Takes a second to spit it out, admittedly, but it's still very cool to see her do it.