Gossip Girl
Riding In Town Cars With Boys

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
So Much for My Happy Ending

Dan: "I'll be right back. I have to gloat at having outwitted Serena. Like that's a badge of honor."
Blair: "You are not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on!"

He's flirtatious and super cute, but really what is the deal. They should be kissing right now and instead he's acting out old shitty Chuck storylines on her. Maybe he figures that since Chuck has become Dan and Louis is turning into Chuck, his best option is to slide into Chuck position. God knows he's been getting enough practice, if you know what I mean.

Dan: "Trust me. This is going to rock."

...Oh, goddammit. He's totally going to set her up with Chuck, isn't he? Fuckin' Humphreys. That is such a Humps move.

OUTSIDE

Max is, you guessed it, randomly lurking just as Nate arrives for that party he isn't attending. Nate once again menaces him, staring up the full foot Max has on him, and once again Max is unfazed.

Max: "A society princess exposed as a white trash fraud? Sounds pretty compelling to me!"

I love how Max's whole plan is just telling people what is up, over and over, even though they don't believe him. Can you imagine if Juliet had had some dick following her around explaining her entire storyline to literally everyone they came across? Like the Cassandra of the UES, cursed to be... Wait, doesn't that make him Vanessa Abrams? That rules.

UPSTAIRS

Nate: "Hey Charlie, remember how Max lurks everywhere all the time?"
Charlie: "It doesn't concern me, but yes."
Nate: "Well, guess what. Anyway, I literally just came to this party for this one exchange of dialogue. Bye!"
Charlie: "Wait, I'm starting to get nervous."
Nate: "I am journalist so I can tell you with authority that a story is a story. True or false, it can take on a life of its own."

The show Gossip Girl, now in its fifth year: "No shit, Sherlock."

Serena's now wearing a spangly white/silver wrapped gift instead of clothes; it's a lovely ombré thing with deepening lavender down the skirt, but the top's a little structural. The boobs don't like it when you play those kind of games, Party Dress.

Serena: "Okay wait, so nobody knows where Dan or Blair is? I have been foiled!"
Charlie: "Wait, no. There's Dan. The Humphrey is coming from inside the house."

Chuck: "Listen, Humphrey, I don't wanna play hide-and-seek right now."
Dan: "Good, because you just found me."
Serena: "Just tell me where the hell Blair is."

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Gossip Girl

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