They discuss various weird options, once they've gone to the consulate to break Louis's heart one more time, and Blair is all about raising their kid in Tokyo for some reason, but Chuck is like, "New York is the fifth bitch at this table" and they make out and the wolves, the wolves are coming.
Blair and Chuck spare one hateful scornful face for the wolves, Nate tells William he's going to the airport in Westchester -- which the driver thought they were going back to the UES, so he has to turn around -- and of course only Florence + The Machine will do, in 2011, for Blair and Chuck to hit a median divider going a million miles an hour.
Everybody, in several repetitive scenes: "Are Blair and Chuck okay? Blair and Chuck, how are they doing?"
Nate: "I don't know. They have comas. Eleanor, Cyrus, Harold and Roman are all flying in on the next flight from Paris."
Everybody: "But how fast can Elton John get here? And who will be in charge of landmines now? What if Nate dresses like a Nazi? What if Aunt Carol gets her toes sucked? What if Blair and Chuck's child marries some girl and her sister turns out to be more interesting than her, and then..."
Nate: "As painfully literal as this Princess thing just got, I'm more worried about crashing a plane. Nobody let me fly a plane, okay?"
Serena: "I blame the media! The paparazzi has gone too far!"
The Year 1997 and also Dan: "We already had this conversation like a billion times."
Serena: "I blame also Gossip Girl! She might as well have loosed those wolves herself!"
Nate & Serena: "We will fight fire with fire, by taking down Gossip Girl using journalism."
(Diana: "What a fucking great idea, you idiots.")
Charlie: "Actually, it was me. I loosed the wolves. I am the mistress of wolves."
Rufus: "What's all this? Why'd you send that blast? Do you hate Blair?"
Charlie: "No, I just wanted to keep Max from talking to the reporters. Max, who was lurking outside, versus the paparazzi, who were given full access to the party for some reason. I thought maybe if they showed up in the same location where he was, that would keep them from talking to him."
Rufus: "Wait, so you invited the paparazzi to a party where they already were, to avoid them running into Max, who was elsewhere? Are you sure this wasn't a Serena Plan?"
Charlie: "You can call me that if you..."
Rufus: "Look, why are you so paranoid about that beautiful, tall drink of water? The ravings of his lunatic face carry no weight with us, niece of mine."
Charlie: "That's the thing! I am a fraud and a murderess and the mistress of wolves!"
Rufus: "...I wasn't paying attention to what you just said. Later!"