Dan: "Like you've ever been single. I hate that I am having the imaginary situation known as Writer's Block since I have to write a new Afterword for my book that came out five minutes ago."
Serena: "More bitchface? Must be hard to write about anything but what sluts your friends are."
Lily: "Enough. You two make up already."
They instantly do, off-screen.
Chuck: "I can't get enough of this one article about how Blair's wedding might be off."
Nate: "I am too important to talk to Mayor Bloomberg! I am a busy boy!"
Chuck: "Are you sure that this is a real thing that is going on? Because the idea of you cancelling on Bloomberg gives me some kind of a boner for some reason."
Nate: "You know what gives me a boner? Plato's Retreat. It's just like living here with you, only you get sodomized by old Republicans."
Chuck: "More weird boners. Today is getting off to a strange start!"
Nate: "Why are you reading that other newspaper? I think I might run a newspaper or something. Some kind of website newspaper blog magazine."
Chuck: "Your mysteriously vague media concern does not have this one article in it, though."
Nate: "Let me sound out the... Oh my goodness, Blair's wedding might be off?"
Chuck: "I'm sure it's a lie. As a tabloid or broadsheet or radio show mogul, whatever you may be, you must understand that these stories are just made up nonsense."
Nate: "Well, maybe you should give her a call just in case."
Chuck: Yeah, probably. It's way more interesting to have every male character talk about her love life instead of actually showing her making decisions or acting rational."
Then Chuck foreshadows the shit out of everybody talking about how Blair would never, ever leave the father of her doomed child. Whoever he turns out to be.
Blair & Dorota: (Aggravating Dorota shit.)
Blair: "My stupid thing I'm obsessing on this week? Why, I'll tell you straightaway. It's that there are paparazzi outside, wondering if I'm still going to marry Louis."
Dorota: "You know who else am wonder about that? Everybody. It am fascinating."
Blair: "Louis can't come into this house until I'm sure about it."
Dorota: "You am say to he I never am leave you and then magic blah blah."
Blair: "I just don't know if I can, in good faith, tell him I'll never leave him."
Dorota: "Um, that is totally what getting married is. You have defined marriage."
Blair: "Stop insinuating that this is about Chuck!"
Dorota: "Oy with this shit again."
Blair: "Solution! We will never leave this house again."
Dorota: "You am like Pharaoh. Or me am like terra-cotta warriors."