Gossip Girl: "Hey, Serena and Rufus! I'm so desperate for news that I have stalked Blair to DUMBO. This is within the realm of possibility."
Rufus: "Good for him! Tap that engaged, pregnant teenage ass."
(Serena makes about the ninth of this episode's series of truly transcendent Fuck Everything faces. She is rocking the shit out of this episode.)
Serena: "Jesus. Am I really expected to figure out where Brooklyn is?"
Blair calls Chuck. This tell-him disease is spreading like wildfire. The whole scene is very quiet, and very still, and beautifully shot and composed. Last week really did bring back the magic, didn't it?
Blair: "Listen, my brain is so fucked up right now that I am in Brooklyn."
Chuck: "Maybe we're like Chandler and Monica, only instead of one of us being the anorexic one, one of us is the sane one. I guess that means I'll be crazy again starting around episode 17."
Actually, verbatim: "Well, there are worse places. This isn't something Humphrey could help you with?"
Aww. Chuck. She's terrified, and he hurts for her.
Blair: "I'm just gonna get right to it. Do you think you could love another man's child?"
Chuck: "Why are you asking me this?"
Blair: "I'm... paralyzed. I... can't move. I can't breathe. You have to help me."
He barely hesitates before telling her he can't make the choice for her.
Blair: "But what's the right choice, Chuck?"
They just kind of sit there for a second before he says -- verbatim, noting for later -- "I can't imagine it would be a mistake to marry the father of your child. Right?"
She really does look like she's about to have a serious panic attack. It's not even funny, just interesting, to note that they are capable of being just as intense and melodramatic even when they are on the phone and miles apart. That felt like a Chuck-and-Blair scene, rather than a Luke-and-Laura scene masquerading as a Chuck-and-Blair scene. Everybody is freaking me out tonight!
And here we thought last week felt like a Winter Finale, man.
So the second Nate asks William about the fake Maureen story, which we spent a lot of time on the two of them talking about this last week in a way that doesn't really gel with the way it's presented this week but whatever, William comes clean: Yes, it was his idea, yes, it was a bad idea, and also he is dumping Tripp as the Great Vanderbilt Hope because of Nate's NEITHER PAWN NOR PUPPET epiphany which is the new family crest, and also for a bonus confession, did you know that Diana was all his doing?