Nate: "I wanted to get a job based on my fucking ability, not my family!"
William: "Let's say that you did."
Nate gets over that one pretty quick, and then William sows dissent by saying that he must have pissed Tripp off when he chose Nate for the Plato's Retreat thing, which I'm starting to worry we'll never see. Nate is blown away by this, even though we saw that go down and it was more like Tripp was being childish and petty and bitchy because his feelings were hurt. Which I guess is what it was, it's just the very dramatic way we find this out -- "Tripp's scared he's gonna lose the election, and I think it's beginning to make him a little desperate!" -- that it gives one pause as to how far Tripp's going to go, in terms of bitchiness about this inconsequential shit.
The big dark secret of why Diana? Literally, William says this is mostly about how he thought -- for no reason I can imagine -- that Nate would "enjoy journalism." Also, because he wanted to control Tripp's press... Which itself he was creating. You know what, whatever. I love Nate and I love how he has nothing to do with the rest of this show, just wears clothes and acts responsible and smokes pot.
Max: "Hey, Nate? I'm Max..."
Nate: "FUCK YOU, BUDDY."
Max: "Seriously, this is the story of the century. This is better than that guy that got hypnotized to perform unspeakable acts."
Nate: "Now that would be a story I could print. Good day, sir."
Dan: "Man, there are paparazzi everywhere at my house! I'm so glad we're friends and siblings again."
Serena: "Obviously it's because Blair is there, idiot. You got Gossip Girl'd."
Dan: "Wait, so are we fighting again or..."
Serena: "Look, motherfucker. You can't see my face, but I am Thunder Perfect Minding my way to a Dark Phoenix meltdown right now, so you listen the fuck up. You invited Blair over to your Brooklyn love den to tell her how you feel, I know you did. And that is a mistake. Here are the following reasons. One, she is pregnant. Two, she is engaged. Three, there is also Chuck."
ibid, verbatim: "Dan, this is not the time to be throwing your hat into the ring."
It's so hard to understand people who don't love Serena. I mean, this is the most Serena-like she's been in a long time, but it's so satisfying when she goes there. Especially with the Humps.