Finally alone, for the nonce, Serena squeals and proffers Dan's present. And you know whatever is in the bag, Lonelyboy's going to douche out, because that's what he does. "What's in the bag?" he asks, but you already know the answer: Your failure, in gift form. "Perfection! Look, I know it's not Christmas yet, but open it, please. I can't wait. I'm too excited!" Oh man. So he opens it, and it's some kind of rich guy watch that cost a billion dollars, weighs 87 pounds, and looks like a tank you wear on your person. I love those watches. Dan? Not so much. He's not really into things, per se, because all things are sour grapes to his broke ass. "I noticed the other day that you don't wear a watch, and then it occurred to me it's because you don't have a watch, and you're gonna need one to be punctual for all the meetings with editors and publishers now that you're a fancy...and apparently, self-important...writer." He goes into a fugue about how he never had a watch before, but on this show I can't see what good that would do, because you never know what time or what day it is anyway.
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: A+ | 1422 USERS: B
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