Alison accompanies Rufus out of a cab as he loudly complains about their cab-taking ($32), and she fires back that he was willing to wait an hour for another subway (nominally $2, but factor in please the opportunity cost in waiting with ADD man-child Rufus and the pointy low blood-sugar of Alison)...and they immediately run into Lily and Bart Bass before even getting through the gate (PRICELESS!). It's awkward as hell, because the last time Bart saw Rufus he was kissing Lily to make Bart jealous at Eleanor's party, and the last time Alison heard about the prenominate Eleanor's party canoodling, she nearly threw herself off a pier. (But given her Avian Bone Syndrome and the fact that her name is written in Satan's Book, you know that bitch would float. All the way back to Hudson, Alison could float, God willing.) After a thousand weird stares, glares and thoughts of affairs, Lily closes herself off and imposes a long, nervous, creepy silence before dismissing the Humphreys and dragging Bart Bass away by his cravat. Alison manages to make Lily's relationship with Bart whore-adjacent, but at least Rufus explains that she's been dating him -- much to Rufus's quiet chagrin -- for a while already. I'm quite torn, because on the one hand, I do love the romance of Lily and Rufus, but on the other hand, I wouldn't wish Rufus on my worst enemy, and Lily is most assuredly not my enemy. I wish a person could have an adult relationship with another adult where actual talking happened. They should make a TV show about that sometime. Although given what TV has taught us, that could only occur on the SciFi network, which implies giant reptiles, or Loud Diamond Phillips in a spider dimension. Also, it would be boring, so let's keep things ugly forever.
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: A+ | 1408 USERS: B
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